IKEA Closing in Coventry (1 Viewer)

clint van damme

Well-Known Member
Have you never played Sim City?

You can just break out the bulldozer and slap a stadium down. None of this pesky private tenants with rights or commercial viability nonsense.

I've never really played any games. Never seen the attraction.
 

Nick

Administrator
Or put a full suit on for the 2032 FA Cup Final

He may have a life :(

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clint van damme

Well-Known Member
Weirdly enough we were on the top floor in there when there was a fire and my Mrs who was 36 weeks pregnant at the time had to evacuate using the stairs. Great laugh.

that sounds fucking horrendous, fortunately my missus was never in that position because she'd have had to deal with an hysterical husband on top of everything else.
 

clint van damme

Well-Known Member
Haha yeah! Who would want to spend an inordinate amount of time obsessing over a game with no real world impact!?

I think if the hours before and after the non world impacting game involve a day out on the bevvy with your mates it's slightly more appealing than one where you sit on your own in your Y fronts eating Doritos and wanking.
 

Evo1883

Well-Known Member
Looks like an ideal building for a Coventry University complex with student union bars etc.... I just can't see what else it could be... Apart from being converted into a huge shopping complex in the west orchard mould.. Or a star city esc building.. Fuck me massive empty space that is
 

hill83

Well-Known Member
I think if the hours before and after the non world impacting game involve a day out on the bevvy with your mates it's slightly more appealing than one where you sit on your own in your Y fronts eating Doritos and wanking.

giphy.gif
 

hill83

Well-Known Member
Surely (but of course not) something should have been agreed prior to it being built. Minimum time spent being used as an Ikea and plans for what it’s going to be if and when they close it down. It’s such a mental bespoke building.
 

David O'Day

Well-Known Member
Surely (but of course not) something should have been agreed prior to it being built. Minimum time spent being used as an Ikea and plans for what it’s going to be if and when they close it down. It’s such a mental bespoke building.

7 floors and most of them above the check out floor not that big
 

OffenhamSkyBlue

Well-Known Member
As my missus asked, "Is it a condition of their planning consent that if they leave they have to take the blue and yellow eyesore cladding with them?"

We go there occasionally, and it is a place to get some quite good stuff for not a great deal of money, and with some fantastically ridiculous line names (e.g. Smak, Fantastisk, and the ever popular Billy bookcase). But it is an excuse for us to come into the city. Will go to Bristol instead (about equidistant time-wise for us).
But if you think it's a death-trap as a furniture shop, just imagine how bad it would be as accommodation!
 

Sky_Blue_Dreamer

Well-Known Member
When they proposed/built it I posted on another forum it was a stupid place to put it. Of all the out-of-town retail/business/science parks we have on old factories etc one of the retailers that REALLY suited those locations ended up in the city centre where the road infrastructure couldn't cope with the numbers. That they say they're making losses when on weekends the junction next to it is rammed and was backing up onto the carriageway shows how unsuitable this was - they couldn't have got more people in and I suspect a number of people ended up giving up on it due to the time spent sitting in the queue for the car park. Wonder if CBD business rates also were too high compared to other stores?

To add to that we've now also got that awful building with little to now active frontage, parking, blank walls, garish colourscheme and weird design as part of our cityscape (although I've no doubt someone will already be trying to put a protection order on it due to its 'uniqueness'.)

I'm very sorry to see it shut even though I didn't use it much it was good for the city. But if they put it somewhere like where Amazon etc have put their warehouse I think it'd have been successful.
 

rob9872

Well-Known Member
GIANT WETHERSPOONS.

Solved it lads. Don’t even change it either. Just cross out Ikea and put a Wetherspoons sign next to it.
Imagine being the poor sod at kicking out time, trying to explain to the pissheads on level 5 how they have to go up a level before they can get down to 4!
 

Philosorapter

Well-Known Member
I say they're only two good solutions here.

Have a good look at building a major sports stadium around the site or turn it into a drapery emporium.
 

fellatio_Martinez

Well-Known Member
I'm in Belfast quite a bit and noticed that they put the IKEA 5 minutes outside the city centre beside the airport. No issues with traffic or it being a giant eyesore and if it ever fails they can simply demolish it with minimal fuss.
 

David O'Day

Well-Known Member
When they proposed/built it I posted on another forum it was a stupid place to put it. Of all the out-of-town retail/business/science parks we have on old factories etc one of the retailers that REALLY suited those locations ended up in the city centre where the road infrastructure couldn't cope with the numbers. That they say they're making losses when on weekends the junction next to it is rammed and was backing up onto the carriageway shows how unsuitable this was - they couldn't have got more people in and I suspect a number of people ended up giving up on it due to the time spent sitting in the queue for the car park. Wonder if CBD business rates also were too high compared to other stores?

To add to that we've now also got that awful building with little to now active frontage, parking, blank walls, garish colourscheme and weird design as part of our cityscape (although I've no doubt someone will already be trying to put a protection order on it due to its 'uniqueness'.)

I'm very sorry to see it shut even though I didn't use it much it was good for the city. But if they put it somewhere like where Amazon etc have put their warehouse I think it'd have been successful.

You seem to miss the point, IKEA didn't want an out of centre store. They wanted to try city centre retailing which after 13 years failed in the end. They never were interested in building on an out factory site
 

shmmeee

Well-Known Member
I think if the hours before and after the non world impacting game involve a day out on the bevvy with your mates it's slightly more appealing than one where you sit on your own in your Y fronts eating Doritos and wanking.

And I think the beery nights in with a group of mates playing games is fun. And online means even in my pants I’m not alone ;)

Fucks sake man, there’s literally no point to any human endeavour.
 

Gynnsthetonic

Well-Known Member
Be interesting how much they paid in business rates per annum compared to an out of town store like Wednesbury or Nottingham as well as these new student blocks popping up over the city!
 

Philosorapter

Well-Known Member
One or two things may of already been quoted on here.

Take for instance, the "Analyse du jeu des Échecs".

"Mon but principal est de me rendre recommandable par une nouveauté dont personne ne s'est avisé, ou peut-être n'a été capable ; c'est celle de bien jouer les pions ; ils sont l'âme des Echecs : ce sont eux-mêmes qui forment uniquement l'attaque et la défense et de leur bon ou mauvais arrangement dépend entièrement le gain ou la perte de la partie.

Translation: My main purpose is to gain recognition for myself by means of a new idea of which no one has conceived, or perhaps has been unable to practice; that is, good play of the pawns; they are the soul of chess: it is they alone that determine the attack and the defence, and the winning or losing of the game depends entirely on their good or bad arrangement."

1749 folks. It was a good year for games.
 

Sky_Blue_Dreamer

Well-Known Member
You seem to miss the point, IKEA didn't want an out of centre store. They wanted to try city centre retailing which after 13 years failed in the end. They never were interested in building on an out factory site

Which has you asking why? Loads of people at the time saying this isn't suited to that type of retailer. Retail parks did and we had more than a few. So if Joe Public can work that out why can't the industry experts?
 

David O'Day

Well-Known Member
Be interesting how much they paid in business rates per annum compared to an out of town store like Wednesbury or Nottingham as well as these new student blocks popping up over the city!

Why mention student blocks? The disposable cash students bring to the city outweighs the lack of business rates or council tax.

Most of the nice things we have are there because of them.
 

Skybluemichael

Well-Known Member
Be interesting how much they paid in business rates per annum compared to an out of town store like Wednesbury or Nottingham as well as these new student blocks popping up over the city!
I think that’s what they mean when they say it’s costing too much because it’s busy every time I go in there, they have gotta be making money, just trying to get cheaper rates I think
 

Gynnsthetonic

Well-Known Member
Why mention student blocks? The disposable cash students bring to the city outweighs the lack of business rates or council tax.

Most of the nice things we have are there because of them.
You mean the train loads of students who head off to London and Birmingham every weekend.
 

David O'Day

Well-Known Member
You mean the train loads of students who head off to London and Birmingham every weekend.

Yes to do daytime shopping in places like selfridges which is a store Coventry is never going to get.

Their money is spent in cafes/bars and eateries which Coventry has a lot more of now and is getting even more.?

Stock the gammony c**t wants to blame students
 

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