Jokes (1 Viewer)


I just got a call from a charity asking me if I wanted to donate some of my old clothes to the starving people throughout the world.

I told them to piss off. Anyone who fits into my clothes isn't starving.


Well-Known Member
My friend writes songs about sewing machines.

He's a singer-songwriter

Or sew it seams


Man gets hit by rental car.

Said it Hertz
A scammer called my gran and told her that he knew all her passwords.

She got a pen and paper to write them down, and said: "Thank goodness for that, what are they?"


Well-Known Member
An old couple enters a cafe in Normandy, overlooking the beach.

The couple are clearly tourists, and when they sit down at a table the waitress noticed that the old man is missing a part of his leg. Curious, the waitress approaches them and decides to ask why.

After asking the question the old woman answers, stating that her husband fought in the war and lost his leg and most of his hearing not far from here during the landing at Normandy.

Upon hearing this the waitress rushes to the kitchen without taking their order only to show up again moments later with a laden service tray and starts to put sandwiches, pancakes, cakes as well as 2 cups of coffee on the table. Confused the elderly lady tells the waitress that they didn't order this and don't have enough money with them to pay for all of this.

"Don't worry miss, I spoke with my boss and since your husband lost his leg while fighting in the war all of this is free."

The woman smiles in gratitude and leans towards her husband to repeat what the waitress just said directly into his ear after which he starts smiling as well, shakes the waitress her hand in gratitude and says: "Vielen Dank, das ist sehr nett von Ihnen!"

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