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do you think the police will organise an arsecrack ID parade to identify the one in the dark top?

She should have mentioned not to use the kettle to fill the bath.

TV/Radio ads (any anything else really) that say "It's a no-brainer". A 'no-brainer' implies that you don't need to think about it, in which case, why are you spending money trying to convince me to do it, as surely I would have done it already? The reason that I haven't done it yet is because I...

I've never actually seen Game of Thrones, but having seen a few trailors, I'd expect some of these positions to be quite interesting.

vulcanologists are, I believe.

One corroded screw has cost me 25 years

Websites that don't mention that it is womens football that they are talking about when showing a mini-headline for a game . e.g. Football news, match reports and fixtures | The Guardian currently (Friday 21 Sep) shows 'Everton 0 - 4 Man City'. It's not Everton 0-4 Man City, its Everton women...

..for dog products.

yes, but that's my point .A receipt for all other items you might buy already has VAT shown and itemised on it. Receipts for petrol don't - the VAT appears on a separate receipt. Why not put the VAT on the 'normal' receipt - the same as for all other products?

being asked 'would you like a VAT receipt' when paying for petrol. Why can't my 'normal' receipt also include the VAT, like any other receipt for any other product? Why is the VAT not already on there, and why should there be an extra VAT receipt for someone that requires it? Perhaps someone can...

perhaps you should kill it first?

i prefer acute angina

only evil spirits EDIT: bugger, Otis.

the saying 'you're only as old as the woman you feel' is a bit unfair on gerontophiles, don't you think?

being woken up by radio 4, Shut the fuck up!

good point (and well remembered) She's had a cold recently, so I don't feel so bad when she follows me in after a dump.

pescatarians actually have a negative water footprint, as the more fish they eat, the more room there is in the sea for water. Well done.

the slogan "kills 99.9% of bacteria" (as per your wet wipes) If you start with 1000 bacteria and kill 99.9% of them, you have 10 left Each bacteria can split in 2 in order to multiply approx 20 mins. So 24 hours later you have approx 4.7 x 10 power 21 bacteria. So what was the point?

warm toilet seats

Bono