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A long time ago I was going out with a girl who was about to take her driving test. She was very nervous about it and was convinced that she was going to fail. The big day arrived (March 30th) and she duly passed - much to the delight of her and her family (she still lived at home with her mum)...

tight arse

can i still not accept your invite, or have i missed the deadline?

Not fussy/Yes please/Up the arse

no, I'm with you - don't dislike anything (and love liquorice)

whilst I agree that the chav is a disrespectful twat and should be jailed, I'm glad that we live in a country that wouldn't take away 10 years of his life as a punishment.

bit TOO close, that close-up.

a sausage in cider

just reading an article on what makes a great football stadium ..and spotted the following: “The Millennium Stadium – or whatever it is called right now – absolutely nailed it....It’s smack bang in the middle of Cardiff, opposite the train station and on matchday the whole city is ouncing. The...

John Darwins wife has invaded your school?

that's up there with 'owned' it

nicely described

Driftwood

people with surnames for first names (often American). e.g. Davis, Mason, Tyler, Walker, Harper, Webb

what a complete bastard - pretending to be Welsh just to attract sympathy.

make that two EDIT: Anal Davies that is, not Bob Mortimer, who is great!

what was your head doing up there?

good to see you've got your priorites right - keep posting the updates.

the whole thing is ridiculous - £36.50 for a fucking cake!

I quite like the (made up) word 'anywhen' e.g. Q. when can we go to the pub? A: Anywhen