The Con-dem coalition is now less of a coalition and in fact represents more of a hostage situation.
Clive Eakin related chant:
'Clive, Clive, Cliiiiive Eakin, Clive is the voice of Coventry-he'll fook you up, wherever you may be 'cos Clive is the voice of Coventry'
'Clive, Clive, Cliiiiive Eakin, Clive is the voice of Coventry-he'll fook you up, wherever you may be 'cos Clive is the voice of Coventry'
Mud ! (No 1 on my 21st Birthday)
Did you hear about the lonely pyromaniac ?
He's still looking for the perfect match.
Did you hear about the lonely pyromaniac ?
He's still looking for the perfect match.
A lester fan is shagging his daughter and says "Your'e a better shag than your mother"
so she replies "yeah I know my brother told me!!"
so she replies "yeah I know my brother told me!!"
when i was younger i had a way with the ladies....
and me mates use to call me mr lover lover
until one night i shagged a disabled girl up the arse...........
and now they call mr mr bum spastic..........
and me mates use to call me mr lover lover
until one night i shagged a disabled girl up the arse...........
and now they call mr mr bum spastic..........
How does an Arsenal fan beat the queues when leaving the Emirates?
They wait for the match to finish.
They wait for the match to finish.
Tim Vine "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.":laugh:
I used to be a good mate of MC Hammer but I stopped hanging out with him because he wouldn´t let me touch anything
When I broke up with my wife, I didn't want anything from her in the settlement except a pint of milk, four egg yolks, a vanilla pod, an ounce of caster sugar and two fluid ounces of single cream. She mixed it all up in a bowl and then threw it in my face.
On the plus side, I did get custardy.
On the plus side, I did get custardy.
Someone asked me if it was too early for Muamba jokes? I said I didn't know.
I'm sure the Diana jokes came out quicker.
I'm sure the Diana jokes came out quicker.
I had an argument with the missus earlier so I picked up the washing machine and threw it at her.
Bosch
Bosch
I was feeling a bit down so I tied some balloons to a bottle of whiskey.
Certainly lifted my spirits.
Certainly lifted my spirits.
I was mid-stroke with the wife last night when I just stopped and held the same position, deadly still for a few seconds. 'What the hell are you doing?!' she asked. 'Don't worry love', I replied, 'i've seen them do this position on RedTube loads of times, it's called "buffering"'.
Just got back from Blackpool, never again!
On the seafront I saw a guy and woman having a shouting match until the woman smacked the guy in the head and they started fighting.
Then a copper turned up but instead of trying to calm things down he starts twatting the guy with his baton, in the end the guy gets the baton off the copper and starts hitting him AND his wife!...
.......Then this crocodile turned up and stole all the sausages!
On the seafront I saw a guy and woman having a shouting match until the woman smacked the guy in the head and they started fighting.
Then a copper turned up but instead of trying to calm things down he starts twatting the guy with his baton, in the end the guy gets the baton off the copper and starts hitting him AND his wife!...
.......Then this crocodile turned up and stole all the sausages!
