Jokes (1 Viewer)

[Otis]

I also went to a time travellers' convention, but when I got there it said on the door that the date had been changed and for me to come back yesterday.

 

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[Sbarcher]

Just played two legs of football on brick rubble and broken concrete.
We won 4-3 on aggregate.

 

[Ccfcisparks]

Just played two legs of football on brick rubble and broken concrete.
We won 4-3 on aggregate.

who against mate

 

[Sbarcher]

who against mate

Bedrock United.

 

[Otis]

Surely Wigan Athletic, cos they play at the Brick Stadium

 

[Sbarcher]

If you could have anyone round for dinner, dead or alive, who would it be?

Nigel Farage.
Dead.

 

[Captain Dart]

Hey, it wasn't me that said it.

 

[Captain Dart]

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

Sad news from the Nestle factory today. A night shift worker was crushed beneath a case of chocolate that fell 20 feet off the storage racking. He called for help repeatedly but every time he shouted 'The Milky Bars are on me' his colleagues just cheered.

 

[Sky_Blue_Daz]

Went into subways for something to eat earlier they asked what bread I wanted , I said warburtons

 

[Otis]

 

[Joe King]

Trump claims CCFC!

 

[rob9872]

View attachment 46572

Great work whoever set the display. 100% knew what they were doing

 

[Otis]

They told me at school that I would never be any good at poetry, because I am dyslexic, but I was determined to prove them wrong and so far I have already made two jugs, an ashtray and a nice vase.

 

[Flying Fokker]

Just made me laugh!

 

[Joe King]

What is your favourite field event? Throwing a heavy canonball object as far as you can or throwing a heavy saucer shaped object as far as you can?
.
.
Discuss.

 

[Joe King]

Just tried a frog flavoured beer.
You can really taste the hops!

 

[Joe King]

Why don't boxers have sex before a big fight?
They don't like each other!

 

[Sky_Blue_Dreamer]

Why don't boxers have sex before a big fight?
They don't like each other!

But they do like to give each other a good fisting.

 

[rob9872]

But they do like to give each other a good fisting.

And get battered around the ring

 

[Sbarcher]

I had to give up playing the triangle, it was just one ting after another.

 

[Joe King]

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp who bought himself a warehouse?

 

[Brighton Sky Blue]

A Glaswegian walks into a patisserie:

'Is that a macaroon or a meringue?'

'No, you're right enough pal'

 

[nicksar]

 

[Captain Dart]

I also went to a time travellers' convention, but when I got there it said on the door that the date had been changed and for me to come back yesterday.

 

[rob9872]

View attachment 47514

It was a scam. I went and it was just me and some bloke who had won the lottery.

 

[Captain Dart]

Next fixture is versus Asda Athletic.

 

[Flying Fokker]

www.facebook.com/share/v/1B3xR2oU9G/?mibextid=wwXIfr

 

[Captain Dart]

 

[Captain Dart]

 

[ccfcchris]

 

[Ccfc_Addy]

A man walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. As he goes to take his first sip, a monkey runs across the bar, takes his pint and scuttles away. The man asks the barman: "Whose monkey is that?" The barman says: "It belongs to the house pianist". The man walks over to the pianist and says: "Do you know your monkey stole my pint?" The pianist says: "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it"

 

[Captain Dart]

 

[nicksar]

I was walking gingerly down the road and two men stopped me...one said "I'm guessing you have a hernia" ... the other man said "my guess is you a have prostate problem".
I replied and said "your both wrong, and I was wrong too because I thought it was a Fart" .

 

[Joe King]

Kelly goes into a shop that sells clocks. He asks, "Do you sell potato clocks?"
The shop keeper looks puzzled and asks Kelly what on earth he means?
"Well," says Kelly, "I start a new job at 9am on Monday, and the wife said that if I don't want to arrive late, I need to get a potato clock!"