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you must buy the posh nescafe if it costs you £1.50 a cup to make it at home.

can't you get the garage that sold it to you to do the MOT?

if it keeps you awake then fair play.

what you talkin about Willis?

couldn't he shit his own self?

that kind of applies to most grounds - i.e. you can't see them if they're behind you.

St Marys (Southampton)is right next to railway line. I like looking out for them when flying e.g. Southampton to Glasgow. It's the best way to keep track on where you are. (I'm not the pilot, by the way)

"I thought he died years ago" It's OK - I'm fairly sure you're still alive.

I liked the 70p chocolate egg joke

or maybe you are 'Liscenced Bar'?

are you Keith Farnan, Damian Clark, or none of the above?

You must stop her hanging around with that deaf girl.

or call a plumber

excuse me lads - what do you think this is? A bloody football fourm or something!

Tony Blair I might have voted for him in the past, but what makes him think that he's got any credibilty now when suddenly reappearing ( two years too late) to campaign against Brexit?

I do a bit of walking and used to like miles, but since I've got older I prefer kilometers. They're a little bit shorter so not as tiring.

how much for the loft

think you've spelt your own name wrong mate

I've tried changing my diet many times, but no matter what I eat, it always seems to be SHIT that comes out of my arse, unfortunately.