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eight has normally got one syllable, but somehow has 2 or even 3 when said in 'geordie' ..nine

you forgot to count. ..seven

that's the spirit! ..five

please don't - I don't finish 'work' until Friday. ..three

one

I remember that 'joke' from school. Won't spoil the answer though.

merry christmas by the way

does anyone know what country you officially died in if you kick the bucket whilst in flight? Was it the one you took off from, the one you were (hoping) to land in, or somewhere else entrirely? I can't find the answer by googling.

turkey crowns - they annoy me. very unethical deliberately breeding quadriplegic chickens.

they're going to be gutted when they find out that 'someone else' has already decided for them by giving the kid a cock/flange

When driving in a built up area, it is quite common to have to have to slow down/stop to give way to someone coming the other way, especially when there are parked cars in the street. When the oncoming driver is just about to pass you it is possible to get a fairly good look at them through...

made me laugh