You couldn’t make it up!!

chiefdave

Well-Known Member
Sep 27, 2008
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Coventry
Had about six months out of work once, signed on. The dead eyes of those in the queue for the dole office, the shuffling walk of despair and lack of hope... none of them *wanted* to be like that, it was just if you could get out of that situation quick enough before it dragged you down to become a benefit zombie.
I signed on for a short time when I was made redundant many years ago. Even the most motivated person would lose the will to live after a visit to the dole office.

I've got a degree and they made me do a test to see if I could read and write and then a day of how to write a CV, followed by a week long course in how to look for a job (that could easily have been condensed to 5 minutes)! Turned out that counted as not available for work so you didn't get added to the jobless figures. Once I'd jumped through those hoops the helpful advise I got was that I was too qualified for any jobs they had so they wouldn't be able to help.
 
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Grendel

Well-Known Member
Sep 19, 2011
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Aren’t benefits supplied by direct transfer now? There isn’t a dole office Is there?
 

NorthernWisdom

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Apr 23, 2013
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I know this is an old item but surely Archie could be a Roger Cook lookalike model?
You'd know this, as one of the better benefit cheat stories, in that the investigators were given quite an easy job!

 

SBT

Well-Known Member
Sep 14, 2012
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I know this is an old item but surely Archie could be a Roger Cook lookalike model?

Another busy Friday morning googling five-year old articles about benefits, or did this turn up on your online dating search?
 

Grendel

Well-Known Member
Sep 19, 2011
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Another busy Friday morning googling five-year old articles about benefits, or did this turn up on your online dating search?
Well your mornings clearly packed out.

Grendel posts - SBT follows

You do strike me as the follower type to be fair
 

SBT

Well-Known Member
Sep 14, 2012
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Well your mornings clearly packed out.

Grendel posts - SBT follows

You do strike me as the follower type to be fair
How do you expect to keep up that legendary internet rep of yours when you’re already resorting to ‘I know you are but what am I’? I’m sure you’ll get some more energy into your responses in time for your usual weekend stint on here - maybe have another donut.
 

Grendel

Well-Known Member
Sep 19, 2011
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How do you expect to keep up that legendary internet rep of yours when you’re already resorting to ‘I know you are but what am I’? I’m sure you’ll get some more energy into your responses in time for your usual weekend stint on here - maybe have another donut.
What a zinger I’m totally knocked out

To paraphrase a certain Winston Churchill

I may be overweight but if I chose to I could lose weight in these coming months

You meanwhile can never change the fact that every post you make is dull, ignored, irrelevant and most sadly of all as you try so hard without humour.

Keep following my exploits though - it’s flattering in a way
 

SBT

Well-Known Member
Sep 14, 2012
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What a zinger I’m totally knocked out

To paraphrase a certain Winston Churchill

I may be overweight but if I chose to I could lose weight in these coming months

You meanwhile can never change the fact that every post you make is dull, ignored, irrelevant and most sadly of all as you try so hard without humour.

Keep following my exploits though - it’s flattering in a way
Good luck with the weight loss mate, let us know how it goes.
 

SBAndy

Well-Known Member
Mar 20, 2011
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I think you still have to go in to have your little book signed to show that you've been looking for work.
When I was last signing on (around 10 years ago) there was a requirement for you to apply for 3 jobs a week in order to qualify for JSA. Applied for 35 in my first week, got one of them, and the rest is history.

Don’t know about more recent developments but it was a requirement to go down to the Job Centre (hellish place that it is) once a fortnight to evidence jobs applied for.
 

Ian1779

Well-Known Member
Dec 6, 2012
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I know a fella on the sick. Gets rent, council tax and all other bills paid, and he's quite happy to sit on his arse and have the government pay for his ciggies.
No doubt there's people that are struggling. There's also people that take the absolute piss..

Sent from my SM-G780F using Tapatalk
There’s over 600 of them in Parliament alone taking more of the piss expenses wise than this fella and those like him.
 

oscillatewildly

Well-Known Member
Sep 18, 2013
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You’d defend Jimmy savile or Denis Neilson no doubt!!
She’s a hypocrite who laughs at people like you defending her!!
I think the worst criticism you can reserve for Nilsen is, OK I think the second worst criticism you can reserve for Nilsen is his passionate, almost sociopathological campaigning against any kind of car/lift share initiative. Which regardless of fuel type driven engine would otherwise be a significant benefactor to the environment.
It's well documented his preference to go, 'All By Myself'.
 

NorthernWisdom

Well-Known Member
Apr 23, 2013
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The problem is , they say you are always better off in work .

The problem is by how much ? In some cases its as little as 10 pound per week .. when you factor in paid rent etc .

Some people would genuinely rather sit at home , believe me .. tile hill , canley , Willenhall.. mad for it

To suggest that people are not playing the system is frankly absurd , I know fucking loads 😆

If they can get themselves on pips , then it's game over for work I'm afraid .

Minimum wage is dire too, doesn't help the situation one bit
tbf, I remember one lad who worked for me, from Chelmsley Wood. Only a temporary contract, a couple of months, no prospect for renewal, but he wanted to work. Benefits office stopped his cheques the moment he got the job, job paid him in arrears. Because of that he had zero cash so couldn't even afford a bus fair, or credit on his mobile to tell anybody. He *walked* the first day from Chelmsley Wood to Dordon, just because he wanted to work, thankfully some woman decided to mother him and went to fetch him each day after a while, but that's not on really, is it?

You'd think there would have been some way of him carrying on receiving his benefits (especially as he'd be back on them in a couple of months!) and they deducted the amount from his salary when he was paid... wouldn't you? Noclue if it's still the same now admittedly, but I'd bloody well hope not!