Otis
Well-Known Member
I'm sorry to hear that. What was its name?
I'm sorry to hear that. What was its name?Xhamster :beaver:
Xhamster :beaver:
I'm sorry to hear that. What was its name?
Abba
Xhamster :beaver:
Is she Catholic, every sperm is sacredYeah my guilty pleasure is porn and masturbating but got to say it has just got me in a shit loads of trouble with the Mrs.
She was out with the boy at his footy and I had come home from work early so got in my bath put loads of bubbles in there and put the telly on after about 20 minutes decided I would get some porn on (I mean it could of been the bubbles or the phat blunt I had just smoked) I was frolicking ffs, my theory quickly knock one of in some tissue down the bog jobs a good un, well so I thought anyway, just as I'm about to chuck me muck I hear her coming up the stairs so flapped it and sat down and let it loose in the bath ( my bath not there's)
So she opens the door and there is no way she can see me rock on or anything floating about but then she says....
Can he jump in as he's really muddy and don't want to be late for dinner well ffs only me, I said no I'm n the bath go run him one himself and she said I mean after you, well could not let him get in me spunky bath so basically had to tell her I've wanked in there Well fuck me I'm utter scum , evil, broken. All the names
Why don't you write on your own slipper instead of someone else's?Writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro.
Yeah my guilty pleasure is porn and masturbating but got to say it has just got me in a shit loads of trouble with the Mrs.
She was out with the boy at his footy and I had come home from work early so got in my bath put loads of bubbles in there and put the telly on after about 20 minutes decided I would get some porn on (I mean it could of been the bubbles or the phat blunt I had just smoked) I was frolicking ffs, my theory quickly knock one of in some tissue down the bog jobs a good un, well so I thought anyway, just as I'm about to chuck me muck I hear her coming up the stairs so flapped it and sat down and let it loose in the bath ( my bath not there's)
So she opens the door and there is no way she can see me rock on or anything floating about but then she says....
Can he jump in as he's really muddy and don't want to be late for dinner well ffs only me, I said no I'm n the bath go run him one himself and she said I mean after you, well could not let him get in me spunky bath so basically had to tell her I've wanked in there Well fuck me I'm utter scum , evil, broken. All the names
Having an attractive neighbour....
Saving a dump all day just so I can do it on my own throne.
Nothing like having a shit on your own toilet.
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Trouble is I'm a truck driver so most of the time I have no choiceThat really isn't good for you you know :wtf:
Having an attractive neighbour....
Hang on! Are you neighbours?Having a soapy wank about an attractive neighbour?
Just cut a hole in your seat.Trouble is I'm a truck driver so most of the time I have no choice
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Brilliant!Yeah my guilty pleasure is porn and masturbating but got to say it has just got me in a shit loads of trouble with the Mrs.
She was out with the boy at his footy and I had come home from work early so got in my bath put loads of bubbles in there and put the telly on after about 20 minutes decided I would get some porn on (I mean it could of been the bubbles or the phat blunt I had just smoked) I was frolicking ffs, my theory quickly knock one of in some tissue down the bog jobs a good un, well so I thought anyway, just as I'm about to chuck me muck I hear her coming up the stairs so flapped it and sat down and let it loose in the bath ( my bath not there's)
So she opens the door and there is no way she can see me rock on or anything floating about but then she says....
Can he jump in as he's really muddy and don't want to be late for dinner well ffs only me, I said no I'm n the bath go run him one himself and she said I mean after you, well could not let him get in me spunky bath so basically had to tell her I've wanked in there Well fuck me I'm utter scum , evil, broken. All the names
When we get a phone call on our home phone I answer it on a banana and if we don't have any bananas in the house we let it go to the answer phone.Sometimes I try and stop the microwave on one second, pretend I'm a bomb diffuser like
Ring ring ring ring ring ring... Banana phone!When we get a phone call on our home phone I answer it on a banana and if we don't have any bananas in the house we let it go to the answer phone.
Just something that stemmed from when my daughter was little.Ring ring ring ring ring ring... Banana phone!
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The long winter hours must simply fly byJust something that stemmed from when my daughter was little.
Think she was about 4 and her grandma rang and I pretended to answer the call on the banana. Picked it up and said 'hello, how are you my old fruit?' My daughter laughed and it has kind of stuck since.
No, not really, cos her grandma only rings once every 3 months.The long winter hours must simply fly by
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