Life's guilty pleasures (1 Viewer)

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skybluedan

skybluedan

Well-Known Member
Monners said:
Xhamster :beaver:
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Yeah my guilty pleasure is porn and masturbating but got to say it has just got me in a shit loads of trouble with the Mrs.
She was out with the boy at his footy and I had come home from work early so got in my bath put loads of bubbles in there and put the telly on after about 20 minutes decided I would get some porn on (I mean it could of been the bubbles or the phat blunt I had just smoked) I was frolicking ffs, my theory quickly knock one of in some tissue down the bog jobs a good un, well so I thought anyway, just as I'm about to chuck me muck I hear her coming up the stairs so flapped it and sat down and let it loose in the bath ( my bath not there's)
So she opens the door and there is no way she can see me rock on or anything floating about but then she says....
Can he jump in as he's really muddy and don't want to be late for dinner well ffs only me, I said no I'm n the bath go run him one himself and she said I mean after you, well could not let him get in me spunky bath so basically had to tell her I've wanked in there Well fuck me I'm utter scum , evil, broken. All the names
 
Johnnythespider

Johnnythespider

Well-Known Member
skybluedan said:
Yeah my guilty pleasure is porn and masturbating but got to say it has just got me in a shit loads of trouble with the Mrs.
She was out with the boy at his footy and I had come home from work early so got in my bath put loads of bubbles in there and put the telly on after about 20 minutes decided I would get some porn on (I mean it could of been the bubbles or the phat blunt I had just smoked) I was frolicking ffs, my theory quickly knock one of in some tissue down the bog jobs a good un, well so I thought anyway, just as I'm about to chuck me muck I hear her coming up the stairs so flapped it and sat down and let it loose in the bath ( my bath not there's)
So she opens the door and there is no way she can see me rock on or anything floating about but then she says....
Can he jump in as he's really muddy and don't want to be late for dinner well ffs only me, I said no I'm n the bath go run him one himself and she said I mean after you, well could not let him get in me spunky bath so basically had to tell her I've wanked in there Well fuck me I'm utter scum , evil, broken. All the names
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Is she Catholic, every sperm is sacred

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RegTheDonk

RegTheDonk

Well-Known Member
skybluedan said:
Yeah my guilty pleasure is porn and masturbating but got to say it has just got me in a shit loads of trouble with the Mrs.
She was out with the boy at his footy and I had come home from work early so got in my bath put loads of bubbles in there and put the telly on after about 20 minutes decided I would get some porn on (I mean it could of been the bubbles or the phat blunt I had just smoked) I was frolicking ffs, my theory quickly knock one of in some tissue down the bog jobs a good un, well so I thought anyway, just as I'm about to chuck me muck I hear her coming up the stairs so flapped it and sat down and let it loose in the bath ( my bath not there's)
So she opens the door and there is no way she can see me rock on or anything floating about but then she says....
Can he jump in as he's really muddy and don't want to be late for dinner well ffs only me, I said no I'm n the bath go run him one himself and she said I mean after you, well could not let him get in me spunky bath so basically had to tell her I've wanked in there Well fuck me I'm utter scum , evil, broken. All the names
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Should have kept you gob shut ... hopefully your lad would have too :yuck:;)
 
Samo

Samo

Well-Known Member
A soapy wank
 
olderskyblue

olderskyblue

Well-Known Member
Having an attractive neighbour....
 
covmark

covmark

Well-Known Member
Saving a dump all day just so I can do it on my own throne.
Nothing like having a shit on your own toilet.

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Samo

Samo

Well-Known Member
covmark said:
Saving a dump all day just so I can do it on my own throne.
Nothing like having a shit on your own toilet.

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Click to expand...

That really isn't good for you you know :wtf:
 
Samo

Samo

Well-Known Member
Secretly imagining what a particular women's genitals might look like after having exchanged polite pleasantries in public place. (bus, waiting room, train, etc) :joyful:
 
skyblue1991

skyblue1991

Well-Known Member
skybluedan said:
Yeah my guilty pleasure is porn and masturbating but got to say it has just got me in a shit loads of trouble with the Mrs.
She was out with the boy at his footy and I had come home from work early so got in my bath put loads of bubbles in there and put the telly on after about 20 minutes decided I would get some porn on (I mean it could of been the bubbles or the phat blunt I had just smoked) I was frolicking ffs, my theory quickly knock one of in some tissue down the bog jobs a good un, well so I thought anyway, just as I'm about to chuck me muck I hear her coming up the stairs so flapped it and sat down and let it loose in the bath ( my bath not there's)
So she opens the door and there is no way she can see me rock on or anything floating about but then she says....
Can he jump in as he's really muddy and don't want to be late for dinner well ffs only me, I said no I'm n the bath go run him one himself and she said I mean after you, well could not let him get in me spunky bath so basically had to tell her I've wanked in there Well fuck me I'm utter scum , evil, broken. All the names
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Brilliant!

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skybluedan

skybluedan

Well-Known Member
I used to like shitting outdoors and now I like trying to spit on seagulls
 
skyblue1991

skyblue1991

Well-Known Member
Otis said:
When we get a phone call on our home phone I answer it on a banana and if we don't have any bananas in the house we let it go to the answer phone.
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Ring ring ring ring ring ring... Banana phone!

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Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
skyblue1991 said:
Ring ring ring ring ring ring... Banana phone!

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Just something that stemmed from when my daughter was little.

Think she was about 4 and her grandma rang and I pretended to answer the call on the banana. Picked it up and said 'hello, how are you my old fruit?' My daughter laughed and it has kind of stuck since.
 
M

Monners

Well-Known Member
Otis said:
Just something that stemmed from when my daughter was little.

Think she was about 4 and her grandma rang and I pretended to answer the call on the banana. Picked it up and said 'hello, how are you my old fruit?' My daughter laughed and it has kind of stuck since.
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The long winter hours must simply fly by:)
 
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