crap joke thread (1 Viewer)

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
Incorrectly is always spelt incorrectly,
unless it's spelt incorrectly.
 

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
The waitress asked “Are you ready to order?”
“My wife is in the ladies.” I said.
“Do you know what she’s having?”
“Well she’s been gone 10 minutes, so probably a good shit.”
 

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
Thought I’d treat the wife last night, so I booked us a table. What a shit night.
Turns out she doesn’t even like snooker.
 

Sky_Blue_Daz

Well-Known Member
I’ve painted my top lip a lovely shade of purple for mauvember
 

Captain Dart

Well-Known Member
I asked my boss "What do you want me to do with this 6 metre roll of bubble wrap?"

He said "Just pop it in the Corner".

4 hours it took me!
 

Captain Dart

Well-Known Member
I once got arrested for impersonating a firework.

They let me off.
 

Captain Dart

Well-Known Member
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.
 

Sky_Blue_Daz

Well-Known Member
Wife’s just had a go at me for donating £20 to children in need


Next time I’ll use me own phone
 

Sky_Blue_Daz

Well-Known Member
How do you annoy an archaeologist?


Give them a used tampax and ask which period it’s from
 

Captain Dart

Well-Known Member
DtVY8d3W0AExOxh.jpg
 

Sky_Blue_Daz

Well-Known Member
I just ordered some items online and accidentally used my organ donor card Instead of my credit card . It’s gonna cost me an arm and a leg
 

Blind-Faith

Well-Known Member
When I was younger my fairy god mother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory?

I can’t remember which one I chose....
 

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
Me and the wife were extremely happy for 26 years.
.
.
.
Then we met!
 

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
Two nuns out for a bike ride in the countryside.
As they freewheeled down a cobbled street, one turns to the other and says "I've never come this way before."
The second one says "Nor me. It must be the cobbles!"
 

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