crap joke thread

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
Jan 24, 2011
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Incorrectly is always spelt incorrectly,
unless it's spelt incorrectly.
 
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Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
Jan 24, 2011
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Malvern
The waitress asked “Are you ready to order?”
“My wife is in the ladies.” I said.
“Do you know what she’s having?”
“Well she’s been gone 10 minutes, so probably a good shit.”
 

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
Jan 24, 2011
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Malvern
Thought I’d treat the wife last night, so I booked us a table. What a shit night.
Turns out she doesn’t even like snooker.
 

Sky_Blue_Daz

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I’ve painted my top lip a lovely shade of purple for mauvember
 

Captain Dart

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I asked my boss "What do you want me to do with this 6 metre roll of bubble wrap?"

He said "Just pop it in the Corner".

4 hours it took me!
 
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Captain Dart

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I once got arrested for impersonating a firework.

They let me off.
 

Captain Dart

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I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.
 
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Sky_Blue_Daz

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Wife’s just had a go at me for donating £20 to children in need


Next time I’ll use me own phone
 

Sky_Blue_Daz

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How do you annoy an archaeologist?


Give them a used tampax and ask which period it’s from
 
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Captain Dart

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Sky_Blue_Daz

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I just ordered some items online and accidentally used my organ donor card Instead of my credit card . It’s gonna cost me an arm and a leg
 

skyblue1991

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I need to buy myself a watch but I haven't got the time.

Sent from my I3113 using Tapatalk
 

Otis

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Mar 26, 2011
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I'm wondering. Was it "tea bag in," or "teabagging?"
 

Blind-Faith

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When I was younger my fairy god mother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory?

I can’t remember which one I chose....
 

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
Jan 24, 2011
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Malvern
Me and the wife were extremely happy for 26 years.
.
.
.
Then we met!
 

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
Jan 24, 2011
11,377
5,450
263
Malvern
Two nuns out for a bike ride in the countryside.
As they freewheeled down a cobbled street, one turns to the other and says "I've never come this way before."
The second one says "Nor me. It must be the cobbles!"