Bad joke corner (1 Viewer)

Q

Quball

Well-Known Member

• Jan 9, 2012

• #911

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!

 

skybluejelly

Well-Known Member

• Jan 9, 2012

• #912

stupot07 said:

sorry this is awful, i heard it on the radio this morning...

David Season has official got the longest goalkeeper through in premier league history, he used to through the ball out to Thierry Henry over mars...

i'll get my coat.....taxi

Click to expand...

was there interference because that does not make sense to me

 

S

smileycov

Facebook User

• Jan 10, 2012

• #913

stupot07 said:

sorry this is awful, i heard it on the radio this morning...

David Season (seamen) has official got the longest goalkeeper('s) through(throw) in premier league history, he used to through the ball out to Thierry Henry over mars...

i'll get my coat.....taxi

Click to expand...

sorry was bugging me

 

S

smileycov

Facebook User

• Jan 10, 2012

• #914

why did the chicken cross the road? it was stuck up anthony worrell thompson's jumper!!

 

stupot07

Well-Known Member

• Jan 10, 2012

• #915

smileycov said:

sorry was bugging me

Click to expand...

thank you - bloody iphone and it's spelling auto correct

 

H

hughescov

New Member

• Jan 13, 2012

• #916

Two blondes walk into a bar..

Surely one of them must of saw it!

 

H

Hugh Jarse

Well-Known Member

• Jan 13, 2012

• #917

I went to a fortune teller last week..

She studied my hand and said., "You have been masturbating.."

I said "Hey you are good, can you tell me anything about my future.???"

She looked at my face and said.

"You'll be doing it for a f*cking long time..!!"

 

H

Hugh Jarse

Well-Known Member

• Jan 13, 2012

• #918

Little Johnny jumps on a bus & sits behind the driver.

Johnny starts chanting at the top of his voice ''If my mammy was a cow & my daddy was a bull then id be a calf...if my mammy was a ewe & my daddy was a ram, then id be a lamb...if my mammy was a mare & my daddy was a stallion then id be a foal...


The driver was getting pissed off and said to Johnny ''And if your mammy was a whore and your dad was a w*nker, what would you be?''


Johnny replied ''A f*cking bus driver!!!''

 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator

• Jan 13, 2012

• #919

hughescov said:

Two blondes walk into a bar..

Surely one of them must of sEEN it!

Click to expand...

Fixed for you.

 

H

hughescov

New Member

• Jan 13, 2012

• #920

La_Lucha said:

Fixed for you.

Click to expand...

Surely one of them must HAVE seen it!

Fixed for you.

 

H

Hugh Jarse

Well-Known Member

• Jan 13, 2012

• #921

Girlfriend sends a text to her boyfriend: If you are sleeping send me your dreams!


If you are laughing send me your smile!


If you are crying send me your tear drops!


Bloke responds:


I am having a shit, what do i do?

 

H

Hugh Jarse

Well-Known Member

• Jan 13, 2012

• #922

Women are like hotwater bottles..



Hold it by the neck, pour in the hot liquid and watch out that it dont spit back in your face.


Wipe off the dribbles and cuddle..!!

 

dutchman

Well-Known Member

• Jan 15, 2012

• #923

Q. What is the difference between a buffalo and a Dyson?

A. You can't vacuum your carpet with a buffalo!

 

Disorganised1

New Member

• Jan 19, 2012

• #924

Apparently Tevez has said he's never going to play in Europe again.

So I assume he's signing for Aston Villa.

 

K

KelV6

New Member

• Jan 31, 2012

• #925

The Alzheimer's specialist gave me some bad news yesterday

But I cant remember what is was...

 

blueflint

Well-Known Member

• Feb 1, 2012

• #926

coventry city worst joke in town at mo ointlaugh:ointlaugh:ointlaugh:

 

scroobiustom

New Member

• Feb 1, 2012

• #927

‎"I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone"

 

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KelV6

New Member

• Feb 4, 2012

• #928

Chris Huhne's wife to replace John Terry
They say she’s good at taking penalties

 

andrew.roberts

Well-Known Member

• Feb 4, 2012

• #929

God finishes creating the world on the sixth day and calls over Adam and Eve for a chat.
"I´m about knackered " he says, "going to take tomorrow off. Just wanted to say that I hope you enjoy yourselves while I´m away but whatever you do, don´t have sex with each other ´cause I haven´t really got that bit properly organised yet "
They agree and off he goes to enjoy his Sunday .
When he returns on Monday morning Adam and Eve approach him looking somewhat embarrassed.
"What´s the matter ?", he asks.
" We are really sorry" they say, "but the temptation was too much for us, and we ended up having sex, and quite a lot of it.
" But don´t worry God", says Eve, "I went to the river afterwards and washed myself thoroughly".
"Oh no", says God, "I didn`t want the fish to smell like that ".

 

skybluedan

Well-Known Member

• Feb 7, 2012

• #930

I met this girl and decided to take her home and meet the folks.......
me dad whispered to me where the fuck did you meet that thing she,s crossed eyed,got a big fat arse,and no teeth?
I said no need to whisper dad she,s deaf.......................................

 

skybluedan

Well-Known Member

• Feb 7, 2012

• #931

my wife is leaving me for getting erections in the most inappropiate places..................
the last one was in her sisters arse............................

 

H

hughescov

New Member

• Feb 7, 2012

• #932

Finally my coffee has arrived, despite not being what I ordered.

Still... better latte than never.

 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator

• Feb 12, 2012

• #933

Houston we have a problem.

 

kdrinkell

Well-Known Member

• Feb 12, 2012

• #934

La_Lucha said:

Houston we have a problem.

Click to expand...

Ouch is that too soon ?!

 

kdrinkell

Well-Known Member

• Feb 12, 2012

• #935

30 years on from the Falklands War and Simon Weston doesn't look a day older

 

Disorganised1

New Member

• Feb 13, 2012

• #936

What's pink and lies on the doormat ?

Whitney Houston's Valentine card.

 

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Hugh Jarse

Well-Known Member

• Feb 14, 2012

• #937

Bianca's distraut. First Pat, then Ricky sods off and now Whitney, whatever next for the poor girl.

 

LastGarrison

Well-Known Member

• Feb 14, 2012

• #938

Albinos.

You can't get fairer than that.

 

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hughescov

New Member

• Feb 14, 2012

• #939

I put ham and pineapple into a bap today.

Because that's Hawaii roll.

 

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hughescov

New Member

• Feb 14, 2012

• #940

What's yellow and smells of marge?

Homer Simpsons fingers.

 

LastGarrison

Well-Known Member

• Feb 14, 2012

• #941

Two queers in a phone box.

Ringing each other.

 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator

• Feb 14, 2012

• #942

what did the gangsta say when the houses fell on him? answer: get up off me homes

 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator

• Feb 14, 2012

• #943

why do elephants paint their toenails red? answer: to hide in the strawberry patch.
have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? answer: works doesn't it?

 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator

• Feb 14, 2012

• #944

Why was tigger looking down the toilet??
A: Because he was trying to find Pooh!!

 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator

• Feb 14, 2012

• #945

What did the mother buffalo say to her child as he left for school?...Bison