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I like the variation "If god had meant us to be vegetarians, he wouldn't have made animals out of meat"

I hope you told the kids you'd had an ouef

they're probably not out there any more :)

I think I was on that same train (unless its a very common occurrence). On way back from an away match? (Vile/West Brom/Wolves etc?)

bit dim

Steve Ogrizovic - you have won last place in a beauty competition - collect your P45.

so now they think you're a time-waster

he'll probably tell you you've got a 48 hour bug

worked fine for me thanks - (Chrome)

how do you know that her missing hand was like Lucy Martin's missing hand?

people that breathe in whilst laughing, instead of breathing out. Utter arseholes

just don't expect a hand job

reminds me of: City v Notts County at Highfield Road, a cold and wet night in February 1982. City went 4-1 down at home with a few minutes remaining, and the gallows humour kicked in, as the home fans in the West end started chanting "we want five, we want five...". The ground erupted when...

i saw Kenny Jacket trying to get a coffee from a Costa machine in a service station garage yesterday, and the machine ran out of milk half way through.:)

can i add this to the 'things that annoy me' thread (i.e the use of the word 'bartering', when you mean 'haggling' ) - except if shes is offering to give you some goods in exchange for your work that is) signed A.N Asshole :)

often the start of the course is about 50 or so metres away from the end of the course anyway, so why not just take the shortest route and knock a couple of hours off their PB ?

people that feel that they have to talk constantly in order to 'remain in charge' of a conversation. I have a colleague at work who regularly says "yeah, no, I mean, as I say" in between all sentences when he is talking to a customer on the phone, as if he is somehow afraid that a slight pause...

yes, lots of people have. You can tell by all the roads and houses that are there.

you've been drinking too much

a 40 year old dog is, yes.