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hang on, i'll find you a picture - -.... now, what should I type into Google?

i think we should scrap the present system of electing MPs and instead get 100 really fit women and 100 really fit blokes (some of whom say they are conservatives, some of whom labour etc, equally spread) to stand for election. We then choose our favourites based on 'horny-ness' alone (without...

in the interview following his dismissal Baker confirmed that it was 'always red sauce' that he would have in his sausage sandwich. The sick fuck!

he might not have a racist bone in his body, but he's certainly got racist thoughts in his head. He's a twat.

people that say 'ruym', instead of 'room' e.g. Tarquin is in the dining ruym

perhaps that's why they've started to spy on you

the rock band UFO were racists?

hence the phrase 'I'll come in a jiffy'

the boys arse would have been sorer

very smart 'Don't wear lanyards while driving – they can make crash injuries much worse'

still talking about the porridge by this point?

I'd be surprised if Wilson left Bournemouth in the near future. I appreciate that 'he would say that wouldn't he', but all the noises in local press etc indicate that he is happy to stay.

remember not to wear that pair at kids parties.

you keep your dog in the cupboard?

effort. Leave it on the table. It always seems to get washed up.

yes, but do they have to be "prominently displayed when shopping at Tesco's" etc..?

thought so how about Nicola Adams?

Alex Scott?