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that viagra advert on (sky?) TV featuring a David Mitchell lookalike who dances around like a prick having just shagged some bird whilst still wearing his socks.

i always go to the pub when i need to curl one out, and I'd consider myslef quite the expert.

We should remember this come the next winter Olympics when all of us footy fans suddenly become experts on the skeleton bob and spout the same type of bullshit for a couple of weeks.

now you're being silly

Offshore Banking is a result of waves offshore from a beach. The swirling turbulence of waves breaking off a beach excavates a trough in the sandy bottom. Some of this sand is carried forward onto the beach and the rest is deposited on the offshore flank of the trough. Sand suspended in the...

put a fiver on a City / St Mirren double for the 1987 English/Scottish FA Cup final at 18/1.

David Kelly?

"owning" something/someone. e.g. "you totally owned him!" or that cider advert " own ice cold ...own turning up ..etc" - pricks!

I've always maintained that regular wanking helps keep the little swimmers fresh and healthy

Brand slogans - especially for cars. e.g 'Jaguar - the art of performance'. What? What the fuck is that meant to mean? 'Nissan - innovation that excites' - eh?

did you squeeze her marshmallows first?

fuck em

when people say 'you' instead of 'I' e.g (topical example) Saddleworth Moor resident: "You could hardly breathe and your eyes were burning" Actually, I could breath, and my eyes weren't burning. thanks - but that's because I'm about 300 miles south of the fire.

even when he stubbs his toe?

wrong thread. 'Pricks' was on gmkonline.

you fat cunnt!

And that concludes the evidence for the defence in the case of 'OTIS v Operation Yewtree'

maybe you should put her back on the shelf as a punishment

Oxford - about 15 minutes. When I was about 16 my mum got me a new coat for my birthday. I proudly wore it that night when going for a bit of underage drinking in town with my mates, and (which would become a habit in later years) prompty left it behind on the floor of whatever pub/club we...

oh dear