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I rest my case.....and presumably your last sentence applies to you?

Motorbikes in my experience and without exception are always breaking the speed limit. I drive to the speed limit and if I see a motorbike in my rear view mirror I know that he won't be there for long. I can't ever remember a motorbike being content to keep to 60 or 70 mph.

Never really associate Wigan with football rather that inferior rugby code where 13 thick Yorkshiremen walk in a line and frequently fall over as they advance in tedious progress down a muddy pitch.

The real shocker is that the population of Wigan is going up!

Apparently you're never more than a few feet from a rat or an estate agent obviously both repellant species with the potential to cause all kinds of suffering to humans

A Sunday Times investigation has revealed the widespread use of performance diminishing drugs by Coventry City FC. More soon.........

Remember when the music played in a de boomtown?

Mediums are either liars or deluded. There is no other explanation.

or tinnitus and poor quality double glazing?

Was it the weird uncle nobody like to talk about?

When I was a kid went to Southam Zoo. Unbelievable that as children we actually handled lion cubs - can't imagine that happening today. I'm sure my parents must have the photos somewhere.

Yes Otis much better question - or at least, what's it like being dead or are Coventry top of the league in your place and is Clarrie Bourton still banging them in? Nick of course you're spot on and there's a great parody of this on Phoenix Nights. Also check out all of Derren Brown's...

Always amazing that mediums have to talk so cryptically - why can't they just say what they mean? Also the ghost thing is funny too - just think of all the things we could learn about the 'afterlife' but they are obviously more concerned with ham going off and the price of a watch! No offence ;)

I've still got a car sticker which says 'I've seen the tattooed rhino-women of Wood End'.

When I was on a tour of the Blue John caves in Derbyshire somebody asked the tour leader, 'how many undiscovered caves are there?'

Is that a euphemism?

I suppose when the chips were down they made a right hash of it.

Whatever happened to Spud-you-licky?

Wasn't Larry Grayson from Nuneaton?

Cushion covers are a gateway fabric to all soft furnishings and ultimately interior design. What worked for me was a few days in my shed rearranging my scrap wood. Let's just say it straightened me out.