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Not sure but I walked into a massive pair of tits in the crowd there once. Right in my face, literally, she squashed my nose and everything. For a 14 year old, that's a months worth of wanking material right there.

Same here, aged 14. I had a moment of awe when I saw George Curtis behind the bar as well.

Who knows what was being passed around the table that day.

Mr Bruce?! Is that really you? Actually, it turns out I was great at football so stuff it up your... ...two fat ladies, 88. Hang on...

Hang on you missed 34. Uggggh, start againnnnnnn...

"Onye, it's a fucking elephant" Put yourself in that board meeting...where could they go after that announcement? I bet Ranson did a day-long facepalm, though.

City 3 Palace 1, 6th of September 1980. Yknow, the game that had the infamous Clive Allen 'no goal'.

Just got home from the back of beyond, woo hoo, why do we doubt Magic Marc? Pusb.

So the solution is to replace MR, is it? With whom? MR and Eric Black are the only two managers (maybe Nilsson too) that I always wished had more time at the club. He'll pull it together, but he needs time - we're 7th ffs, give the guy a chance.

Fuck me, everyone's starting on Nick. INTERWEBZ FIIIIIIGHT... Anyhoo, yesterday was dog shit infused with more do shit - clearly missing Jones and have no contingency in place for his absence. Also, two or three bottle droppers seem to be appearing, so Robins may not have the confidence in...

Ohhhh cack beans... No consistency, no midfield without heavily-relied-upon injured players, no cutting edge, no fluidity in passing, no poxy service to the strikers. Still, on the bright side...

Careful, you'll start the whingers off early, Mr Marx.

Yep, this has 2-0 to us written all over it, McNulty with a brace. Come on you Sky Blues, give us a decent Xmas run for a change.

Oooookay, great read. Sky Blue Kid, I get you, but you need to rapidly tone down that obscure yet ferocious need to be proven right. Makes you look like a no-life virgin with emotional issues. Just saying...

Absolutely yes. Report back here immediately afterwards, corporal. Has anyone farted and it smells of piss? Could be a condition...

Well, much improvement over the last few seasons, if you exclude Armstrong and Murphy. McNulty is getting his groove on, so I expect at least 15 goals from him, same for Duck. Ducks are greedy so maybe 18 for Nazon.

I'd like to see extravagant, cringe worthy celebrations from the NFL to be mandatory in Rugby Union and League. Shut up Ieuan, do a cutthroat and machine gun after your Try. Uh, butty.

One word: Interbreeding. In 50 years time, the royal family will all be ginger, and look exactly like a strange melding of Harry and an orang utan. King Louis the 105th...his coronation will have the Jungle Book music blared out, no doubt. No throne, just a tyre swing, and whenever someone...

He was never likely to come here and suddenly start cracking them in, since his overall goals to games ratio is a percentage I can't work out, but it's pretty low. Think Julian Darby got more per game than Beavon. Ouch.

The mortal terror and crushing indignation of being pushed in the girls toilets in school? My terror and torment lasted from age 6 to 13...