Work colleagues dying (1 Viewer)

[nicksar]

When I worked there, guy in my dept. committed suicide. In his 40’s I think, but tough to handle for us, as hadn’t realised he was in any “pain”. Always asking yourself if there was anything you could have done.

My best pal from MF died recently, he’d worked there for around 30 years, and was in his 80’s when he died, but still feeling the loss. Should be thinking “well, he had a good life” but that doesn’t help much.

its tough whatever age they are if you knew them

Just worth mentioning "J" ...Gaz Warner passed away a couple of weeks ago, I'm fairly sure you would have known him from our younger days,great lad.

 

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[nicksar]

Anyone else experiencing this?
First guy had at least retired and was just 70 the most recent lady is my age and was such a lovely person

Anyone any words of wisdom on what’s the point? Does anything we do really matter?

My eldest daughter is a qualified Grief counsellor Pete and has written a best selling book on dealing with loss...also available as an audio book.
Message me if it may be of interest to you.

 

[olderskyblue]

Just worth mentioning "J" ...Gaz Warner passed away a couple of weeks ago, I'm fairly sure you would have known him from our younger days,great lad.

That’s sad. Yes, I knew Gaz back then. Lived not too far from me. Any west Enders of that era would know him…. Or skinheads in town.

 

[ovduk78]

A bit of a tangent here, sorry @Sky Blue Pete , but I think it's sad that indivual lives & memories of those who fought in the 2nd world war or were born before will soon be lost. My mum & dad, both born in late 1920s, are dead as are their siblings so I have nobody of that generation left. My grandad was watching bombs fall & raising the alarm on the night of the Coventry blitz whilst my mum, auntie & grandma sheltered in their house in Green Lane. I, and my brothers, as well as our parents' memories all have things that have passed down from our parents & grandparents, nobody else in our own familes really cares about these items & I think it is sad that when we have died that they will probably be discarded as they don't fit into our childrens' lifestyles. ☹

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

A bit of a tangent here, sorry @Sky Blue Pete , but I think it's sad that indivual lives & memories of those who fought in the 2nd world war or were born before will soon be lost. My mum & dad, both born in late 1920s, are dead as are their siblings so I have nobody of that generation left. My grandad was watching bombs fall & raising the alarm on the night of the Coventry blitz whilst my mum, auntie & grandma sheltered in their house in Green Lane. I, and my brothers, as well as our parents' memories all have things that have passed down from our parents & grandparents, nobody else in our own familes really cares about these items & I think it is sad that when we have died that they will probably be discarded as they don't fit into our childrens' lifestyles. ☹

It’s cause of the immigrants

sorry being facetious

when life’s a struggle we don’t look outside our everyday experiences

 

[rob9872]

My colleagues are all cunts, especially @Cobi Jones's Dreads

 

[DT-R]

Anyone else experiencing this?
First guy had at least retired and was just 70 the most recent lady is my age and was such a lovely person

Anyone any words of wisdom on what’s the point? Does anything we do really matter?

Hope you're OK, mate? Here, if you wanna talk/inbox me?

It's an odd one for me on this subject. ie, as I'm ex infantry, obviously I lost a fair few colleagues (7 in Afghan) at a young ish age. Soon, a lot of lads that I served with, myself included, had all left, so the deaths in service stopped, but that's when the suicides started. 5 lads I served with in the last 19 years. That doesn't include 1 murdered, 1 covid, and 1 in a freak building accident.

So when I say I know how it feels. Somebody that you're maybe not that close to, or even know that intimately, dies. It's still close enough to home to strike a chord. Maybe not close enough to fully grieve, but to stop you in your tracks. Make you question the point in working til you drop!

You've just got to keep your chin up. Surrounded yourself with friends and family. Enjoy the time you do get with them. Money isn't everything. Something im finally coming to terms with now in my 40s. Time and happiness top trump money for me now. Im starting my own business. And as long as it turns enough money to pay my bills and keep food on the table, my extra time at home with the family is worth much more than an extra £25k a year! Just to drive a nice car, to impress people I dont even know or like!

I was once asked a question that put time and money into perspective:

If i offered you £10m would you accept it?
Answer no doubt will be yes, 100%.
But there's a catch, if you take the £10m you only have 1 month to live, would you still take it? The answer now is 100% no! Which shows your time is worth more to you than money. Don't waste that time.

Sent from my SM-S711B using Tapatalk

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

Hope you're OK, mate? Here, if you wanna talk/inbox me?

It's an odd one for me on this subject. ie, as I'm ex infantry, obviously I lost a fair few colleagues (7 in Afghan) at a young ish age. Soon, a lot of lads that I served with, myself included, had all left, so the deaths in service stopped, but that's when the suicides started. 5 lads I served with in the last 19 years. That doesn't include 1 murdered, 1 covid, and 1 in a freak building accident.

So when I say I know how it feels. Somebody that you're maybe not that close to, or even know that intimately, dies. It's still close enough to home to strike a chord. Maybe not close enough to fully grieve, but to stop you in your tracks. Make you question the point in working til you drop!

You've just got to keep your chin up. Surrounded yourself with friends and family. Enjoy the time you do get with them. Money isn't everything. Something im finally coming to terms with now in my 40s. Time and happiness top trump money for me now. Im starting my own business. And as long as it turns enough money to pay my bills and keep food on the table, my extra time at home with the family is worth much more than an extra £25k a year! Just to drive a nice car, to impress people I dont even know or like!

I was once asked a question that put time and money into perspective:

If i offered you £10m would you accept it?
Answer no doubt will be yes, 100%.
But there's a catch, if you take the £10m you only have 1 month to live, would you still take it? The answer now is 100% no! Which shows your time is worth more to you than money. Don't waste that time.

Sent from my SM-S711B using Tapatalk

Gosh!!!!
I feel like such a whiner reading this
Lots of people saying very similar things but I am really stuck in my thought processes and can’t move on from what’s the point.
I don’t know why it just is

I know it’s fuckin trite to say and I know that I would be a conscientious objector if it came to war (I’m too old now) but I do thank you for your willingness to serve and put your life at risk for the life that Ive had and am able to live
Well done for keeping on keeping on after going through all that

 

[rob9872]

Hope you're OK, mate? Here, if you wanna talk/inbox me?

It's an odd one for me on this subject. ie, as I'm ex infantry, obviously I lost a fair few colleagues (7 in Afghan) at a young ish age. Soon, a lot of lads that I served with, myself included, had all left, so the deaths in service stopped, but that's when the suicides started. 5 lads I served with in the last 19 years. That doesn't include 1 murdered, 1 covid, and 1 in a freak building accident.

So when I say I know how it feels. Somebody that you're maybe not that close to, or even know that intimately, dies. It's still close enough to home to strike a chord. Maybe not close enough to fully grieve, but to stop you in your tracks. Make you question the point in working til you drop!

You've just got to keep your chin up. Surrounded yourself with friends and family. Enjoy the time you do get with them. Money isn't everything. Something im finally coming to terms with now in my 40s. Time and happiness top trump money for me now. Im starting my own business. And as long as it turns enough money to pay my bills and keep food on the table, my extra time at home with the family is worth much more than an extra £25k a year! Just to drive a nice car, to impress people I dont even know or like!

I was once asked a question that put time and money into perspective:

If i offered you £10m would you accept it?
Answer no doubt will be yes, 100%.
But there's a catch, if you take the £10m you only have 1 month to live, would you still take it? The answer now is 100% no! Which shows your time is worth more to you than money. Don't waste that time.

Sent from my SM-S711B using Tapatalk

First, thanks for your service.
Second, That's awful and fair play to you looking for the positives in all of it, great character strength.
The only part I'm not sure on is the £10m and a month. My health / fitness isn't great and I don't expect to see old bones, so whilst you might argue my family would rather have me around, the thought I could leave them all that money so that they would be forever comfortable and none of them would have to work and could have all that time and happiness that you speak of, I think I'd take it. I also know that I'd have one hell of a month!

 

[DT-R]

First, thanks for your service.
Second, That's awful and fair play to you looking for the positives in all of it, great character strength.
The only part I'm not sure on is the £10m and a month. My health / fitness isn't great and I don't expect to see old bones, so whilst you might argue my family would rather have me around, the thought I could leave them all that money so that they would be forever comfortable and none of them would have to work and could have all that time and happiness that you speak of, I think I'd take it. I also know that I'd have one hell of a month!

I get that, there's always gonna be the exception to the rule:
You've just come out of the Dr's, its bad news.... stage 4. 6 months to live. Deffo, take the £10m and have an amazing month rather than a sad, slow 6, and leave some for your family to live comfortably.
Your 99, on God knows what support to keep you breathing.... take it. See out your 100th and leave a nice nest egg for your grandkids.

But the point still stands. 99% of people would refuse it. And i bet if the offer ends with you.... ie, once you die, what you havent spent goes back in the genie bottle and your family dont get an inheritance, your answer would be different. Your time is worth more than money. Money doesn't = happiness.

Sent from my SM-S711B using Tapatalk

 

[bigfatronssba]

Had a guy at my place die last year. Nice bloke, always took the time to ask how I was etc.
I was surprised by how much it upset me to be honest

 

[Farmer Jim]

In one of my previous roles, I worked as a grief counsellor, mainly for the families of bereaved children, but also occasionally adults who`d died unexpectedly.

I was always remember that one of the tutorials on the course I did, was about the many reasons men die younger women and one of the big ones in particular, was why men who`ve recently retired seemingly die soon after retiring.

A lot of fellas mentally don`t ever think they`ll retire, particularly if they`ve been in the same job for a long time and don`t prepare at all for their new life of retirement and as a result are much more prone to depression, drink problems, divorce and drink problems.

They`re in work Friday and then on Monday, they`re sat on the couch retired, with nothing to fill their day, stripped of their work title, authority and all the respect that went with it.

The key is preparing properly for retirement, having plans and structure about what you`re now going to do with all your free time.

 

[Sbarcher]

Dead right. I had professional dealings with the MD of a world wide organisation. He would be flying regularly around the world giving talks and seminars. He was coming up to retirement and dreading it. He said when working he was someone respected and with purpose. Once retired he would be no one.

 

[Farmer Jim]

Dead right. I had professional dealings with the MD of a world wide organisation. He would be flying regularly around the world giving talks and seminars. He was coming up to retirement and dreading it. He said when working he was someone respected and with purpose. Once retired he would be no one.

I speak to so many fellas, who are coming up to retirement age, who have made no plans whatsoever for all that time they`re going to have on their hands and the loss of identity and self worth they will fee on that first Monday morning of retirement.

The absolute worst for not adjusting, are men who`ve been in positions of power, they massively struggle with being " nobody ", and even more so when they`ve been replaced by a shiny new twenty something graduate.

A lot of big places run pre retirement courses, which I always advise anyone I speak to go on.

Another big thing, is that they can`t cope with all that time they now have with their missus too, as work was their way of staying out of the house and avoiding the missus as much as possible.

A lot of fellas retire and within a few months realise that they don`t particularly like their missus very much anymore and vice versa.

 

[nicksar]

I speak to so many fellas, who are coming up to retirement age, who have made no plans whatsoever for all that time they`re going to have on their hands and the loss of identity and self worth they will fee on that first Monday morning of retirement.

The absolute worst for not adjusting, are men who`ve been in positions of power, they massively struggle with being " nobody ", and even more so when they`ve been replaced by a shiny new twenty something graduate.

A lot of big places run pre retirement courses, which I always advise anyone I speak to go on.

Another big thing, is that they can`t cope with all that time they now have with their missus too, as work was their way of staying out of the house and avoiding the missus as much as possible.

A lot of fellas retire and within a few months realise that they don`t particularly like their missus very much anymore and vice versa.

My wife retired a month ago (she's 6 years younger than me) and she is struggling to get used to it tbh.... I've been running about like a blue arsed fly nearly everyday since she retired,she wants to go out or do something everyday!!!.
It is madness that in this country it's full on work and then a sudden stop (France for example phase it in).
Must admit though I took to retirement like a duck to water .We are all different aren't we.

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

My wife retired a month ago (she's 6 years younger than me) and she is struggling to get used to it tbh.... I've been running about like a blue arsed fly nearly everyday since she retired,she wants to go out or do something everyday!!!.
It is madness that in this country it's full on work and then a sudden stop (France for example phase it in).
Must admit though I took to retirement like a duck to water .We are all different aren't we.

People have enjoyed partially retiring

 

[Sky_Blue_Dreamer]

People have enjoyed partially retiring

Gary Neville being one!