nicksar
Well-Known Member
Just worth mentioning "J" ...Gaz Warner passed away a couple of weeks ago, I'm fairly sure you would have known him from our younger days,great lad.
Just worth mentioning "J" ...Gaz Warner passed away a couple of weeks ago, I'm fairly sure you would have known him from our younger days,great lad.When I worked there, guy in my dept. committed suicide. In his 40’s I think, but tough to handle for us, as hadn’t realised he was in any “pain”. Always asking yourself if there was anything you could have done.
My best pal from MF died recently, he’d worked there for around 30 years, and was in his 80’s when he died, but still feeling the loss. Should be thinking “well, he had a good life” but that doesn’t help much.
its tough whatever age they are if you knew them
My eldest daughter is a qualified Grief counsellor Pete and has written a best selling book on dealing with loss...also available as an audio book.Anyone else experiencing this?
First guy had at least retired and was just 70 the most recent lady is my age and was such a lovely person
Anyone any words of wisdom on what’s the point? Does anything we do really matter?
That’s sad. Yes, I knew Gaz back then. Lived not too far from me. Any west Enders of that era would know him…. Or skinheads in town.Just worth mentioning "J" ...Gaz Warner passed away a couple of weeks ago, I'm fairly sure you would have known him from our younger days,great lad.
It’s cause of the immigrantsA bit of a tangent here, sorry @Sky Blue Pete , but I think it's sad that indivual lives & memories of those who fought in the 2nd world war or were born before will soon be lost. My mum & dad, both born in late 1920s, are dead as are their siblings so I have nobody of that generation left. My grandad was watching bombs fall & raising the alarm on the night of the Coventry blitz whilst my mum, auntie & grandma sheltered in their house in Green Lane. I, and my brothers, as well as our parents' memories all have things that have passed down from our parents & grandparents, nobody else in our own familes really cares about these items & I think it is sad that when we have died that they will probably be discarded as they don't fit into our childrens' lifestyles. ☹
Hope you're OK, mate? Here, if you wanna talk/inbox me?Anyone else experiencing this?
First guy had at least retired and was just 70 the most recent lady is my age and was such a lovely person
Anyone any words of wisdom on what’s the point? Does anything we do really matter?
Gosh!!!!Hope you're OK, mate? Here, if you wanna talk/inbox me?
It's an odd one for me on this subject. ie, as I'm ex infantry, obviously I lost a fair few colleagues (7 in Afghan) at a young ish age. Soon, a lot of lads that I served with, myself included, had all left, so the deaths in service stopped, but that's when the suicides started. 5 lads I served with in the last 19 years. That doesn't include 1 murdered, 1 covid, and 1 in a freak building accident.
So when I say I know how it feels. Somebody that you're maybe not that close to, or even know that intimately, dies. It's still close enough to home to strike a chord. Maybe not close enough to fully grieve, but to stop you in your tracks. Make you question the point in working til you drop!
You've just got to keep your chin up. Surrounded yourself with friends and family. Enjoy the time you do get with them. Money isn't everything. Something im finally coming to terms with now in my 40s. Time and happiness top trump money for me now. Im starting my own business. And as long as it turns enough money to pay my bills and keep food on the table, my extra time at home with the family is worth much more than an extra £25k a year! Just to drive a nice car, to impress people I dont even know or like!
I was once asked a question that put time and money into perspective:
If i offered you £10m would you accept it?
Answer no doubt will be yes, 100%.
But there's a catch, if you take the £10m you only have 1 month to live, would you still take it? The answer now is 100% no! Which shows your time is worth more to you than money. Don't waste that time.
Sent from my SM-S711B using Tapatalk
First, thanks for your service.Hope you're OK, mate? Here, if you wanna talk/inbox me?
It's an odd one for me on this subject. ie, as I'm ex infantry, obviously I lost a fair few colleagues (7 in Afghan) at a young ish age. Soon, a lot of lads that I served with, myself included, had all left, so the deaths in service stopped, but that's when the suicides started. 5 lads I served with in the last 19 years. That doesn't include 1 murdered, 1 covid, and 1 in a freak building accident.
So when I say I know how it feels. Somebody that you're maybe not that close to, or even know that intimately, dies. It's still close enough to home to strike a chord. Maybe not close enough to fully grieve, but to stop you in your tracks. Make you question the point in working til you drop!
You've just got to keep your chin up. Surrounded yourself with friends and family. Enjoy the time you do get with them. Money isn't everything. Something im finally coming to terms with now in my 40s. Time and happiness top trump money for me now. Im starting my own business. And as long as it turns enough money to pay my bills and keep food on the table, my extra time at home with the family is worth much more than an extra £25k a year! Just to drive a nice car, to impress people I dont even know or like!
I was once asked a question that put time and money into perspective:
If i offered you £10m would you accept it?
Answer no doubt will be yes, 100%.
But there's a catch, if you take the £10m you only have 1 month to live, would you still take it? The answer now is 100% no! Which shows your time is worth more to you than money. Don't waste that time.
Sent from my SM-S711B using Tapatalk
I get that, there's always gonna be the exception to the rule:First, thanks for your service.
Second, That's awful and fair play to you looking for the positives in all of it, great character strength.
The only part I'm not sure on is the £10m and a month. My health / fitness isn't great and I don't expect to see old bones, so whilst you might argue my family would rather have me around, the thought I could leave them all that money so that they would be forever comfortable and none of them would have to work and could have all that time and happiness that you speak of, I think I'd take it. I also know that I'd have one hell of a month!
Dead right. I had professional dealings with the MD of a world wide organisation. He would be flying regularly around the world giving talks and seminars. He was coming up to retirement and dreading it. He said when working he was someone respected and with purpose. Once retired he would be no one.
My wife retired a month ago (she's 6 years younger than me) and she is struggling to get used to it tbh.... I've been running about like a blue arsed fly nearly everyday since she retired,she wants to go out or do something everyday!!!.I speak to so many fellas, who are coming up to retirement age, who have made no plans whatsoever for all that time they`re going to have on their hands and the loss of identity and self worth they will fee on that first Monday morning of retirement.
The absolute worst for not adjusting, are men who`ve been in positions of power, they massively struggle with being " nobody ", and even more so when they`ve been replaced by a shiny new twenty something graduate.
A lot of big places run pre retirement courses, which I always advise anyone I speak to go on.
Another big thing, is that they can`t cope with all that time they now have with their missus too, as work was their way of staying out of the house and avoiding the missus as much as possible.
A lot of fellas retire and within a few months realise that they don`t particularly like their missus very much anymore and vice versa.
People have enjoyed partially retiringMy wife retired a month ago (she's 6 years younger than me) and she is struggling to get used to it tbh.... I've been running about like a blue arsed fly nearly everyday since she retired,she wants to go out or do something everyday!!!.
It is madness that in this country it's full on work and then a sudden stop (France for example phase it in).
Must admit though I took to retirement like a duck to water.We are all different aren't we.
Gary Neville being one!People have enjoyed partially retiring
I remember an old tutor of mine telling us more or less the same.In one of my previous roles, I worked as a grief counsellor, mainly for the families of bereaved children, but also occasionally adults who`d died unexpectedly.
I was always remember that one of the tutorials on the course I did, was about the many reasons men die younger women and one of the big ones in particular, was why men who`ve recently retired seemingly die soon after retiring.
A lot of fellas mentally don`t ever think they`ll retire, particularly if they`ve been in the same job for a long time and don`t prepare at all for their new life of retirement and as a result are much more prone to depression, drink problems, divorce and drink problems.
They`re in work Friday and then on Monday, they`re sat on the couch retired, with nothing to fill their day, stripped of their work title, authority and all the respect that went with it.
The key is preparing properly for retirement, having plans and structure about what you`re now going to do with all your free time.
Do your poo test as soon as you get it - please59 year old female colleague today short illness with bowel cancer
Hundreds at the funeral
So sad life taken too soon and here’s me arguing with dom over which toilets people should use ffs
Be kind and compassionate to one another friends
Yep agreedDo your poo test as soon as you get it - please
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