Sarah Everard (4 Viewers)

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I was sexually assaulted at around 10 years old by a married couple, family 'friends'.
I was also raped at 14 years old by my school friends mother, she was one of those really cool mums who was more a friend than a parent.
She was happy for everyone to hang out at her house and let you drink bottles of cider (that she provided)
I slept over one night after the youth club disco and woke up to find her on top of me, it was quite violent and not what schoolboys 'dream of'!
I buried this deep inside until a suicide attempt in my late 30's and have only ever told my GP and the counsellor she reffered me to.
My point being that nonces are not exclusively male, these incidents have had a massive impact on my life.
Please excuse the anonymous id as not brave enough to post under usual name
 

shmmeee

Well-Known Member
Do we think it's fair to say that the men who commit these crimes are going to be impervious to 'social education'. I simply can't imagine that they would be otherwise. I can't see the linkage from 'changing a misogynistic' society to ridding us of the tiny percentage of adults that would do such things - not least, because you can't change genetics. Yes, men can cross the road to reduce the nervousness of another in that situation, but how does that reduce the fear and concern of the actuality of crossing paths with that rapist or killer? It does not.

In which case, as unimaginative as it might seem, what answer can there be other than more police and longer sentences?

I mean violent crime has been dropping for a while. So clearly there is something we can do about it and we’re doing it. I’m sure glad we haven’t always had the “eh, what are you gonna do?” attitude.

And again, it’s not about reducing the incidence. The incidence is pretty low. It’s about reducing the daily mental grind of worrying that many women go through and explicitly say bothers them. Maybe not all, but really what’s the big deal about trying to be a bit more conscientious?

We’ve made massive strides in all kinds of social interactions and making harmful things socially taboo like drunk driving and smoking. What makes you think we’ve hit the pinnacle and all remaining problems are unsolvable?
 

shmmeee

Well-Known Member
I can tell you that 2 people were recently employed without interview at my workplace... Neither were the Best candidates either for things like poor attendance, inability to get on well with other staff members

A host of applicants who already worked through the agency(along with them) had to apply for positions... Good people missed out too..

It does happen, although I'm not sure how often

Some companies definitely have targets etc for diversity

So to answer the question about stats, no, no you don’t. All bad hires must be because diversity.
 

Skybluefaz

Well-Known Member
I was sexually assaulted at around 10 years old by a married couple, family 'friends'.
I was also raped at 14 years old by my school friends mother, she was one of those really cool mums who was more a friend than a parent.
She was happy for everyone to hang out at her house and let you drink bottles of cider (that she provided)
I slept over one night after the youth club disco and woke up to find her on top of me, it was quite violent and not what schoolboys 'dream of'!
I buried this deep inside until a suicide attempt in my late 30's and have only ever told my GP and the counsellor she reffered me to.
My point being that nonces are not exclusively male, these incidents have had a massive impact on my life.
Please excuse the anonymous id as not brave enough to post under usual name
That is awful to hear. Hope you got all the help you needed and are on a positive path.
 

Liquid Gold

Well-Known Member
I was sexually assaulted at around 10 years old by a married couple, family 'friends'.
I was also raped at 14 years old by my school friends mother, she was one of those really cool mums who was more a friend than a parent.
She was happy for everyone to hang out at her house and let you drink bottles of cider (that she provided)
I slept over one night after the youth club disco and woke up to find her on top of me, it was quite violent and not what schoolboys 'dream of'!
I buried this deep inside until a suicide attempt in my late 30's and have only ever told my GP and the counsellor she reffered me to.
My point being that nonces are not exclusively male, these incidents have had a massive impact on my life.
Please excuse the anonymous id as not brave enough to post under usual name
This is awful to hear. I hope you got the help you needed from the councillor. You don't need to be excused for anonymity, nobody has the right to your trauma.
 

oakey

Well-Known Member
Nobody is saying its OK though.

Because if you watch the news, listen to it, go on the internet it's just being driven that it's a man's problem.

I'm just pointing out there is shit loads wrong with society, multiple people stabbed yesterday in Coventry.
Male violence the common denominator here perhaps?
A tiny minority kill but Male violence appears endemic. Should we just shrug and say 'boys will be boys' or work for change? Nobody has all the answers but wanting to find solutions has to be the starting point not denial or whataboutery. I know some women are abusers too so we don't overlook that fact.
 

clint van damme

Well-Known Member
I think it's fucking weird that you appear to think that some of the posters here don't share the concerns of women in this matter. It's simply that some don't believe yet another round of identity politics or crossing the road is going to change anything.

Even though lots of women say crossing the road thing gives them some reassurance you'd rather bitch about it than do it?

Just cross the fucking road, it takes seconds, you can think of a better suggestion while you're doing it and let us all know what it is because I don't think any of us have any other answers.
 

clint van damme

Well-Known Member
Left wingers, Antifa & BLM have had cities under siege for months in America,

I'm not talking about racism for example, things like suggesting there's only 2 genders, or that lad from mumford and sons who tweeted he enjoyed a book, suddenly cancelled because the extreme left don't agree. These thoughts and actions aren't exactly out there are they.

Remember when they stormed Capitol hill and tried to destroy democracy
 

ajsccfc

Well-Known Member
The DHOTYA page is fine when it's punching up at blowhards but more often it's just unleashing the hounds of idiocy in its followers roaming Twitter picking on people
 

Otis

Well-Known Member
Even though lots of women say crossing the road thing gives them some reassurance you'd rather bitch about it than do it?

Just cross the fucking road, it takes seconds, you can think of a better suggestion while you're doing it and let us all know what it is because I don't think any of us have any other answers.
I was listening to a lot of women on the radio yesterday, saying that just crossing the road would indeed give them so much reassurance. Easy enough to do isn't it.
 

Otis

Well-Known Member
Yeah. It's not a big thing. No one's asking men to burn their testicles.
I have a fair few women friends too (mainly because blokes won't touch me with a barge pole) and they all said that at times they do feel intimidated when a man is walking behind them and they are all alone.
 
D

Deleted member 4439

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I mean violent crime has been dropping for a while. So clearly there is something we can do about it and we’re doing it. I’m sure glad we haven’t always had the “eh, what are you gonna do?” attitude.

And again, it’s not about reducing the incidence. The incidence is pretty low. It’s about reducing the daily mental grind of worrying that many women go through and explicitly say bothers them. Maybe not all, but really what’s the big deal about trying to be a bit more conscientious?

We’ve made massive strides in all kinds of social interactions and making harmful things socially taboo like drunk driving and smoking. What makes you think we’ve hit the pinnacle and all remaining problems are unsolvable?

A well-made point, and which did stop me and make me think. I do so very much agree that there are changes we can bring about and which would still further improve how women feel in the company of men and how more generally engage in society. Would social education of both sexes also reduce incidences of domestic violence, be it from men or women, yes possibly. Will it stop men from killing women? I doubt it, not least because social education has little effect on the mentally unstable, whether that installability is genetic and/or fuelled by drink and drugs.


Even though lots of women say crossing the road thing gives them some reassurance you'd rather bitch about it than do it?

Just cross the fucking road, it takes seconds, you can think of a better suggestion while you're doing it and let us all know what it is because I don't think any of us have any other answers.

Ah, the classic, "I'll ignore everything you've written" response.
 

shmmeee

Well-Known Member
Left wingers, Antifa & BLM have had cities under siege for months in America,

I'm not talking about racism for example, things like suggesting there's only 2 genders, or that lad from mumford and sons who tweeted he enjoyed a book, suddenly cancelled because the extreme left don't agree. These thoughts and actions aren't exactly out there are they.

Mate. I say this with love. Take a look at your media diet because you sound as loony as the looniest lefties.

“Under siege for months”. And two sexes (not genders, that’s the far left take remember?) isn’t a right wing thing. In fact the biggest donor to trans causes and pushes for legislative change in the US is a Trump supporting billionaire and the biggest push back comes from left wing feminists

No idea what the Mumford and Sons thing is, I don’t follow them.


The world is not the cartoon you’re fed on social media.
 

shmmeee

Well-Known Member
A well-made point, and which did stop me and make me think. I do so very much agree that there are changes we can bring about and which would still further improve how women feel in the company of men and how more generally engage in society. Would social education of both sexes also reduce incidences of domestic violence, be it from men or women, yes possibly. Will it stop men from killing women? I doubt it, not least because social education has little effect on the mentally unstable, whether that installability is genetic and/or fuelled by drink and drugs.




Ah, the classic, "I'll ignore everything you've written" response.

It’s not all social education no. I think domestic violence stands alone a little because it isn’t just “mental people” and it’s something people can spot in their groups if they’re aware.

But yeah the biggest strides come with the long slow boring stuff like properly paid employment and mental health support.

To naively try and tie both sides together: maybe if we focused on men’s mental health and making education and the economy work for working class men too, the byproduct would be less VAWG? (I tried)
 

TomRad85

Well-Known Member
Even though lots of women say crossing the road thing gives them some reassurance you'd rather bitch about it than do it?

Just cross the fucking road, it takes seconds, you can think of a better suggestion while you're doing it and let us all know what it is because I don't think any of us have any other answers.
Tbf, thinking about my behaviours I do all these things anyway, maybe I'm just a thoughtful human. I do however object to this awful murder case being used as a stick for the media to beat men with. Its pathetic.

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk
 

Macca

Well-Known Member
I’ll give you some personal experience which may be interesting for some context. 20 odd years. I used to get a late tube back from the city to Putney 2-3 times a week when had been out for a few after work. At that time of night on that line it was very quiet and I frequently shared a carriage with a girl around about my age. When she got on I would always give her a very short friendly smile but then make a conscious effort to concentrate on a book or paper and not make eye contact. One night after a number of weeks she said “ you don’t say much do you?” So I replied “ well what would you have thought if I had randomly sparked up a conversation with you?”

straight away she answered “I’d think you were a facking natter”

which kind of sums it up for me 😊
 

Otis

Well-Known Member
Tbf, thinking about my behaviours I do all these things anyway, maybe I'm just a thoughtful human. I do however object to this awful murder case being used as a stick for the media to beat men with. Its pathetic.

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk
I do find it weird that there is this one specific murder and all hell breaks loose.
 
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