Nick

Administrator
Feb 25, 2008
147,894
66,789
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Coventry
I can time travel, I don't just go to the next Euromillions to get the result and then live like a King. I end up getting stuck in some shitty era instead.
 

torchomatic

Well-Known Member
Feb 25, 2008
28,026
15,409
313
Warwick
I'm an alien in a sci-fi movie. My race has left our dying planet and plan to repopulate Earth with our own kind and destroy the human race forever. When I say Earth, I actually mean the United States.
 

Gazolba

Well-Known Member
Jan 26, 2013
8,224
2,840
113
BBC says 'outside the UK'
I am the good guy in a 60s TV series. I will punch a bad guy once and he will collapse to the floor and not get back up. I will straighten my tie and carry on.
Yes, but even if he looks dead, don't turn your back to him because he'll make a miraculous recovery.
 

olderskyblue

Well-Known Member
Mar 22, 2011
4,178
3,002
213
I'm a shark in a movie. I can smash your boat to smithereens, and it will start to sink, but provided you climb the tilting mast, only feet from the sea, I won't be able to get you.
 
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Liquid Gold

Well-Known Member
Sep 16, 2013
28,199
37,951
313
Brizzle
I'm the commander of an alien invasion force. I know where the White House is but I've underestimated a plucky misunderstood former pilot.
 
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ajsccfc

Well-Known Member
Dec 10, 2008
18,109
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I'm an alien overlord. To be honest, I told the lads to always probe the humans anally for a laugh.
 

duffer

Well-Known Member
Oct 28, 2010
6,231
8,182
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Always worth remembering that if you need to knock someone out quietly, a single blow with a blunt object to the back of head always works. Even better, they generally wake up a few seconds after you've gone (or have safely restrained them) with no ill effects.

It sort of makes the whole science of anaesthetics redundant this, the NHS could save a lot of money. :)
 

duffer

Well-Known Member
Oct 28, 2010
6,231
8,182
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I'm the commander of an alien invasion force. I know where the White House is but I've underestimated a plucky misunderstood former pilot.

Also, despite mastering faster-than-light space travel, I need all your gold/oil/water/brains (delete as appropriate) and I appear to have left my critical IT infrastructure open to hacking with an old MacBook.

Also my lasers fire in very slow bursts, with a peoww peoww noise, even in a vacuum. In retrospect, we aliens should probably have stuck to machine guns.
 

torchomatic

Well-Known Member
Feb 25, 2008
28,026
15,409
313
Warwick
I'm the leading man in a Rom Com. My girlfriend is on the way to the airport to fly to the city where her new job is based. Even though the plane takes off in 30 minutes and I'm "down town" in one of the busiest city's in North America, I attempt to chase after her. There is always a bridge leading to the airport, nose-to-tail with traffic. However, this does not hinder me. I get out of my car, run along the highway - to the sound of blaring horns - and find the taxi, fling open the door, only to find that this is the wrong taxi. I will find her at the third attempt. Soft rock music will play as we embrace and kiss.
 

Johnnythespider

Well-Known Member
Jul 13, 2011
10,149
6,666
313
wyken on the naze
I'm the son of a climatologist, during a storm that will change the earths weather to an ice age i become trapped in a library in New York. The girl i like needs antibiotics or she will die, i venture outside with 2 friends and find a medical room on a ship, the door is locked so i climb outside and break the window of the EMPTY ROOM, once inside i go to the door and turn the key that is in the lock of the door in the EMPTY ROOM and let my friends in.
 

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