I'm In A Movie

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by torchomatic, Jan 14, 2019.

  1. torchomatic

    torchomatic Well-Known Member

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    Some funny tweets about this, a few of the good ones:

    I'm a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending, then I yell at students about reading/homework as they leave.

    I'm a computer geek in a movie, I can break into any system by typing random keys extremely fast and then shouting "I'm in!". All the while this is happening green text will be projected scrolling across my face.

    Usually hired by a team breaking in somewhere, once inside I can control lifts, doors, CCTV, etc all using elaborate 3D graphics showing where everything is. The fact manufacturers make such fancy graphics just for lifts and doors will not be discussed.
     
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  2. tommydazzle

    tommydazzle Well-Known Member

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    Some of these are great especially the geek ones. The cliched crap that we can all identify go me thinking about detective dramas and here's one I've noticed:
    I'm in a movie as a suspect being interviewed about a murder by police at my workplace, I have a manual job which I will continue to do even through the serious questioning.
     
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  3. dutchman

    dutchman Well-Known Member

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    I'm in a movie and see a gun left lying around so pick it up and know immediately exactly how it works even though the chances are I've never seen that particular type of gun before.
     
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  4. Gazolba

    Gazolba Well-Known Member

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    Person steps out of a hotel, raises his arm and a taxi appears immediately.
    Woman in bed wakes up in the morning and looks gorgeous in perfectly applied make-up.
    Man goes into a bar, orders a whisky, throws three coins on the counter and amazingly it's the correct amount.
    Thirty-something woman gets dumped by her husband/boyfriend and meets dark, handsome stranger who just happens to be single, one day later
     
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  5. ajsccfc

    ajsccfc Well-Known Member

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    I'm an Englishman in a movie. Save yourself at least an hour and don't trust me from the start
     
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  6. tommydazzle

    tommydazzle Well-Known Member

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    I'm the hero in a movie having a full on fist fight. I am hit hard with huge punches to the face multiple times. I never get a broken jaw, broken nose or cheekbone but usually a small cut above the eye. The next day I will show no bruising.
    I am involved in a dangerous car chase with gunfire being exchanged. I never shoot the tyres of the car I am pursuing.
    I'm a cop in an American police station, my boss will always be a badass, bad tempered shouty bully and make unreasonable demands on my time to catch the killer. He will always have the DA on his back. I'll always have some personal problems of my own which will interfere with the investigation.
    I'm in a movie set in the 19th century. There will always be a horse and carriage as I cross the street.
     
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  7. Covkid1968#

    Covkid1968# Well-Known Member

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    Thought you were going to say the classic movie fist fight, where the good guy gets the absolute shite kicked out of him only to recover and kick the absolute shit out of the baddie..... this cycle is often repeated until said baddie doesn’t get up.
     
  8. Liquid Gold

    Liquid Gold Well-Known Member

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    I'm an ethnic minority in a horror movie, it doesn't end well for me.
     
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  9. Sky_Blue_Daz

    Sky_Blue_Daz Well-Known Member

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    I’m a guy selling watermelon from a barrow
     
  10. tommydazzle

    tommydazzle Well-Known Member

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    I've broken into a study or office at night to find an important document. I don't have a lot of time and have a torch in my mouth. Despite the numerous drawers, cupboards, shelves, files and boxes I find what I need.
     
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  11. Johnnythespider

    Johnnythespider Well-Known Member

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    I'm a victim of a killer in a thriller, it doesn't matter how fast i run the slow moving killer still catches me when i trip over my own shoelaces and kills me with one of his crutches.
     
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  12. torchomatic

    torchomatic Well-Known Member

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    I'm a cop in a movie. I don't play by the rules but I get things done. I am melancholic because of a painful backstory, which you won't find out about until near the end of the film. My boss is always trying to get rid of me. At some point in the movie I will be suspended and have to hand in my badge and gun and am told I'm "off the case!". I will, of course, continue to investigate in my own time.
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2019
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  13. torchomatic

    torchomatic Well-Known Member

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    I am the good guy in a 60s TV series. I will punch a bad guy once and he will collapse to the floor and not get back up. I will straighten my tie and carry on.
     
  14. torchomatic

    torchomatic Well-Known Member

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    I am a homeless drunk living on the streets in a movie. I am drinking from a bottle wrapped in a brown paper bag. I am in an alleyway, it is late at night. Suddenly there's a bright light, a man steps out of the bright light. He is wearing outlandish clothing I have never seen before. He runs off into the darkness. I look at the bottle in my hand. There is another flash of light. This time a robot appears firing a futuristic weapon after the running man. It pursues him and also disappears into the darkness. I look at the bottle again, shrug, then throw it over my shoulder.
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2019
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  15. Covkid1968#

    Covkid1968# Well-Known Member

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    I’m being shot at by numerous crack shot police or baddies... no matter where I stand,be it behind a pillar or next to a wall the bullet always seems to hit that instead of me resulting in a tiny but very visible puff of dust
     
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  16. ajsccfc

    ajsccfc Well-Known Member

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    I'm in a Bond villain's private army. He probably should have given us a shooting test before hiring us, if I'm honest.
     
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  17. ccfcrob

    ccfcrob Active Member

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    Money is falling from the sky, I proceed to try and pluck it from the air despite there being hundreds of bills around me on the floor that I could easily pick up.
     
  18. shmmeee

    shmmeee Well-Known Member

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    I’m a step-dad in a movie.

    I’m a nice guy and try my best but am ultimately useless with kids. Despite treating my step-daughter like one of my own and loving my wife I will inevitably lose both to the slightly rubbish real dad after he does something heroic.
     
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  19. torchomatic

    torchomatic Well-Known Member

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    I'm a receptionist in a movie. I tell the protagonist that he can't go and see my boss as he is with someone. Despite this the protagonist will barge past me and burst into my boss's office. I will follow looking flustered and say "Sorry, Mr Boss, he pushed right past me and I couldn't stop him". My boss will smile sweetly and tell me to get him a coffee.
     
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  20. ajsccfc

    ajsccfc Well-Known Member

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    I'm every single person using the phone in everything. I'll listen for a second and yet take in roughly 30 seconds of information and will NEVER say goodbye, just hang up.
     
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  21. Nick

    Nick Administrator

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    I'm a plumber, I've gone to fix a leak and the womans husband works away but she casually wears lingerie at 10am on a Tuesday.
     
  22. torchomatic

    torchomatic Well-Known Member

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    I'm a hard-nosed City business woman in a Christmas movie. I go back to the small town where I grew up to see my parents. I meet the boy I went out with at school. He is now a widower with a cute kid and a labrador. Although he now only runs a small coffee stand, I fall back in love with him, forget my $500K a year job in my law firm and become instant friends and surrogate mom for the cute kid. I'm now happy just to be a Mom. At the end of the film it's Christmas Eve and we're making cookies in the kitchen. The cute kid runs in and tells us it has started snowing, we run out side and laugh a lot. The labrador snaps at the snowflakes and we start throwing snowballs at each other. Me and the Dad then kiss and hug the cute kid.

    Credits roll.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2019
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  23. ajsccfc

    ajsccfc Well-Known Member

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    I love those TV Christmas films. They make 300 per year but they all share the same five plots and three lead actresses, what an industry!

    • One parent dies, woman comes home to Jingle Bells, Montana and reconnects with estranged dad. Falls in love with handsome local

    • Big city businesswoman sent to Yule Log, Massachusetts over Christmas to shut down a business, instead helps it thrive and moves there, falls in love with handsome local

    • Woman visits Tiny Tim, Tennessee over Christmas and ropes a handsome local into pretending to be her husband/fiance to save face, falls in love

    • Woman hates Christmas but thanks to the residents of Puking Up Eggnog, Illinois she learns to love it AND a handsome local

    • Woman is stranded trying to get home for Christmas, but thanks to the local residents of Pigs in Blankets, Maine she discovers that home is where a handsome local is all along
     
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  24. Liquid Gold

    Liquid Gold Well-Known Member

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    I had this horrible flu that knocked me out before Christmas a few years ago so I just stayed in watching Channel 5 Christmas films and you're absolutely correct on this one.
     
  25. torchomatic

    torchomatic Well-Known Member

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    Have you ever seen any of the Hallmark Christmas films? They're EXACTLY like AJS describes them. Brilliant.
     
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  26. Liquid Gold

    Liquid Gold Well-Known Member

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    I saw one this year, missed the start but it appeared to be about a guy trying to fuck his brother's girlfriend.
     
  27. ajsccfc

    ajsccfc Well-Known Member

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    3/1 chance Lacey Chabert was playing the girlfriend

    [​IMG]

    2018 Pride, Prejudice and Mistletoe (TV Movie)
    Darcy Fitzwilliam
    2017 All I Want for Christmas Is You (Video)
    Penelope (voice)
    2017 The Sweetest Christmas (TV Movie)
    Kylie Watson
    2016 A Wish For Christmas (TV Movie)
    Sara Thomas
    2015 A Christmas Melody (TV Movie)
    Kristin Parson
    2015 Family for Christmas (TV Movie)
    Hanna Dunbar
    2014 The Tree That Saved Christmas (TV Movie)
    Molly Logan
    2014 A Royal Christmas (TV Movie)
    Emily Taylor
    2014 Christian Mingle
    Gwyneth Hayden
    2011 A Holiday Heist
    Jennifer
    2006 Black Christmas
    Dana
    1999 We Wish You a Merry Christmas (Video)
    Cindy (voice)
     
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  28. torchomatic

    torchomatic Well-Known Member

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    I particularly like the sound of this one. She has made seven TV movies in the last couple of years.
     
  29. Liquid Gold

    Liquid Gold Well-Known Member

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    Pride Prejudice and Mistletoe sounds like a classic
     
  30. ajsccfc

    ajsccfc Well-Known Member

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    Former TV Superman Dean Cain's a regular leading man in these too, he's got about a dozen under his belt but looking on IMDB, the real money is clearly in the other strand I forgot about: animals!

    The Dog Who Saved Christmas (TV Movie)
    The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation (TV Movie)
    The Dog Who Saved Halloween (TV Movie)
    The Dog Who Saved the Holidays (TV Movie)
    The Dog Who Saved Easter
    The Three Dogateers
    A Horse for Summer
    The Dog Who Saved Summer
    A Dog for Christmas
    Horse Camp
    Andy the Talking Hedgehog
    Baby Bulldog (post-production)

    I like how only the first four are listed as TV movies, this means the rest must have had Hollywood premieres and filled cinemas the world over
     
  31. Liquid Gold

    Liquid Gold Well-Known Member

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    Does anybody remember some crap tv that was on Saturday afternoon in the 90s about a guy that always got tomorrows papers delivered so he spent his life trying to stop all the bad shit happening?
     
  32. King of the Lesbians

    King of the Lesbians Well-Known Member

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    "His name is Gary Hobson. He gets tomorrow's newspaper today. He doesn't know how. He doesn't know why. All he knows is when the early edition hits his doorstep, he has twenty-four hours to set things right." - Early Edition
     
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  33. Liquid Gold

    Liquid Gold Well-Known Member

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    Did you have to google that or is it all in your memory?
     
  34. Malaka

    Malaka Well-Known Member

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    I'm a baddie who captures a spy. I devise a very complicated way to kill him. I tell him how he is going to die before turning my back and leaving the room with an evil guffaw. Minutes later I am shocked to see the spy has escaped and is running from the building with my Mrs, just before the building blows up. I escape in my helicopter and pursue the said spy and my Mrs, I throw her suitcase into the back of the convertible sports car he is speeding away in, guffawing you can keep her up mug! Only to have my helicopter spin out of control and hit the ground in a huge fireball after the spy's Omega watch fires a guided missile into the rotor blades.
     
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  35. Malaka

    Malaka Well-Known Member

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    Didn't he used to present New Faces and Central Television?:joyful:
     

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