SkyBlue_Am
New Member
Why did the skeleton go to the dance by themselves?
Because they had no body to go with!
Because they had no body to go with!
Bad joke corner (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter redsox
- Start date
bamalamafizzfazz
New Member
In the news this morning it said that funeral parlours are going to test glass coffins. Will it be a success?
Remains to be seen
Remains to be seen
bamalamafizzfazz
New Member
I've just started a band called The 999 Megabytes. We haven't done a gig yet.
SkyBlue_Am
New Member
Boy: "Do you want to play the fire engine game?
"Girl: "How do you play that?
"Boy: "My fingers are the fire engine and I drive up your legs. You say 'Red light!' when you want me to stop.
"Girl: "Okay, let's play."After a few seconds...
Girl: "Red light!"
Boy: "Fire engines don't stop for red lights."
"Girl: "How do you play that?
"Boy: "My fingers are the fire engine and I drive up your legs. You say 'Red light!' when you want me to stop.
"Girl: "Okay, let's play."After a few seconds...
Girl: "Red light!"
Boy: "Fire engines don't stop for red lights."
SkyBlue_Am
New Member
Q. Whats brown and sticky?
A. A stick
A. A stick
bamalamafizzfazz
New Member
Q. What's pink and wobbly and hangs out your underpants?
A. Your mum.
A. Your mum.
bamalamafizzfazz
New Member
Q. What goes ha ha thud?
A. A man laughing his head off
A. A man laughing his head off
bamalamafizzfazz
New Member
A pony and an Eagle walked up to a Coyote. The pony said to the Coyote, "I am very mad at Eagle. Will you yell at him for me?" Coyote said to Pony, "Why can you not yell yourself?" And Pony replied, "Because I am a little horse."
Hugh Jarse
Well-Known Member
What's got 100 legs and 30 pubic hairs?
The front row of a Justin Beiber concert.
The front row of a Justin Beiber concert.
Coventry La La La
New Member
BBC NEWS - "World's oldest man dies"
Why does this keep happening?
Why does this keep happening?
SkyBlue_Am
New Member
Why is 6 scared of 7?
because 7 ate(8) 9
because 7 ate(8) 9
bamalamafizzfazz
New Member
Three blondes trapped on a desert island. One day a genie apears and says he wants to grant them each a wish.
So the first blonde who was the least intelligent says, "I wish I could be smart enough to get off this island and I don't care how I do it"
"Your wish is granted" says the the genie and turns her into a redhead and she swims off the island.
The second who is slightly smarter says "I also wish I could be smart enough to get off this island but I don't want to swim because I will get my hair wet."
"Your wish is granted" says the genie and turns her into a brunette and she builds a raft and sails away.
The final blonde who is somehow slightly more smarter than the other two says, "I also want to get off this island but I don't want to get my hair wet and I don't want to do any hard work"
"Your wish is granted" says the genie and turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge.
So the first blonde who was the least intelligent says, "I wish I could be smart enough to get off this island and I don't care how I do it"
"Your wish is granted" says the the genie and turns her into a redhead and she swims off the island.
The second who is slightly smarter says "I also wish I could be smart enough to get off this island but I don't want to swim because I will get my hair wet."
"Your wish is granted" says the genie and turns her into a brunette and she builds a raft and sails away.
The final blonde who is somehow slightly more smarter than the other two says, "I also want to get off this island but I don't want to get my hair wet and I don't want to do any hard work"
"Your wish is granted" says the genie and turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge.
Richard Smith
New Member
A Story with a moral.My girlfriend told me 2 call over 2 her house one day. When I arrived, I found her unbelievably sexy sister alone.She whispered in my ear, ''I'm very horny, and i need u to shag me now"I turned around & walked out of the front door and towards my car.I found my girlfriend standing there & she hugged me & said, "U have won my trust"MORAL :Its better to keep the CONDOMS in the car nt ure pocket
bamalamafizzfazz
New Member
Shakespeare walks into a pub. The landlord shouts "get out ya bard!"
Disorganised1
New Member
Barca after the treble !
Which for them consists of The League, The Champions League, and an Oscar.
Which for them consists of The League, The Champions League, and an Oscar.
SkyBlue_Am
New Member
Apparently, Bin Laden had a 25 million dollar price tag on his head.
What kind of ridiculous, designer turban was he wearing?!
What kind of ridiculous, designer turban was he wearing?!
CovKingChris
Facebook User
No-one else post. It's on page 69.
lulz.
lulz.
We'll_live_and_die
Moderator
RIP Osama bin Laden, World Hide and Seek Champion (2001-2011)
skybluedan
Well-Known Member
whats the difference between a dead prostitute and a onion???????????????????????????
i cried when i chopped up the onion.......................................
i cried when i chopped up the onion.......................................
Hugh Jarse
Well-Known Member
New Starbucks Coffee
'Bin Latte' - Dark bodied, skinny, frothy head with 2 shots in it
Anagram of Osama Bin Laden is……………………….Lob da man in sea
'Bin Latte' - Dark bodied, skinny, frothy head with 2 shots in it
Anagram of Osama Bin Laden is……………………….Lob da man in sea
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and
he shares his.. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast... They had a wonderful, wonderful time.....
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings... The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman.. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. . .
Wait for it. .
It's coming. ..
The suspense is killing you, isn't it?
She says:
'You just happened to catch my eye.'
Boom-Boom
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and
he shares his.. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast... They had a wonderful, wonderful time.....
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings... The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman.. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. . .
Wait for it. .
It's coming. ..
The suspense is killing you, isn't it?
She says:
'You just happened to catch my eye.'
Boom-Boom
Hugh Jarse
Well-Known Member
Tell you what, I'll bet Bin Laden's cursing filling out his census form!
Lets all sing together
New Member
What do Kate Middleton and Osama Bin Laden have in common?
Last weekend a man from the navy smashed in their back door and shot his load in their face.
Last weekend a man from the navy smashed in their back door and shot his load in their face.
