Q. What do Tottenham Hotspur and Heather Mills have in common?
A. The second leg is just for show.
A. The second leg is just for show.
anyone got oxfams number just had my water bill gonna change supliers they can do it for two pounds a month according to tv ad
what do you call a man with a segual on his head .................................................... cliff
what do you call a chicken in a shell suit.................................................................. a egg
what do you call a man with a segual on his head .................................................... cliff
Is that Steven Segual?
What do you call a nun with a washung machine on her head?
Sister matic
what do you call a man with a segual on his head .................................................... cliff
Is that Steven Segual?
What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?
Sister matic
Last edited:
What do you call a man with a plank on his head ..................... EDWARD
What do you call a man with three planks on his head .............. EDWARD WOODWARD
What do you call a man with three planks on his head .............. EDWARD WOODWARD
What do you call a man with a number plate on his head? .................. Reg!
What does his mum call him? ......................... R Reg!
What does his mum call him? ......................... R Reg!
What do you call a woman with only one leg? .................... Eileen!
What do you call a Chinese woman with only one leg? ................ Irene?
What do you call a woman with no legs ...................... Nolene!
What do you call a Chinese woman with only one leg? ................ Irene?
What do you call a woman with no legs ...................... Nolene!
Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my arse. Do you think I should change dentists?
SKY NEWS- Sailor Dee Caffari has become the only woman to have sailed around the world non-stop three times.
typical fucking woman, can't even find a parking space for a boat.
typical fucking woman, can't even find a parking space for a boat.
A car salesman asked me, "What are you looking for in a car?"
I said, "It has to be affordable"
He said, "I'm sorry sir, I've never heard of a Ford Ibble."
I said, "It has to be affordable"
He said, "I'm sorry sir, I've never heard of a Ford Ibble."
I went to a restaurant the other day and I noticed that my waitress had a black eye.
I made sure I spoke loud and clear when ordering my food because she obviously had trouble listening.
I made sure I spoke loud and clear when ordering my food because she obviously had trouble listening.
Dolly Parton in BBC Radio 2 interview:
'My father couldn't read or write. But he was a very intelligent man, he could have been anything.'
Well, except a writer. :claping hands:
'My father couldn't read or write. But he was a very intelligent man, he could have been anything.'
Well, except a writer. :claping hands:
My girlfriend said that I'm too immature for her.
I said "If I'm immature, how come I've got an Arsfor?"
She said "What's an Arsfor?"
"Shitting out of." I said, and giggled for 20 minutes.
I said "If I'm immature, how come I've got an Arsfor?"
She said "What's an Arsfor?"
"Shitting out of." I said, and giggled for 20 minutes.
There are 3 things in life that are certain -
Death,
Taxes,
and that if you load up Windows Media Player and the volume control is set right down to 2 or 5 out of 100, it means that the last person on there was watching porn.
Death,
Taxes,
and that if you load up Windows Media Player and the volume control is set right down to 2 or 5 out of 100, it means that the last person on there was watching porn.
I don't know why Fulham fans are complaining. I'm sure their statue was cheaper than the £50m Chelsea paid Liverpool for theirs!
I went to a disco last night;
They played the Twist ~ I twisted;
They played Jump ~ I jumped
They played Come On Eileen ~ I got thrown out after that.
They played the Twist ~ I twisted;
They played Jump ~ I jumped
They played Come On Eileen ~ I got thrown out after that.
David Blaine's 40 day world record for doing nothing in a box has been broken by Fernando Torres.
