Coventry La La La

New Member
Apr 6, 2010
3,410
1
0
Coventry
BBC SPORT: Japan confirm planned football matches to go ahead.

BBC SPORT SCOTLAND: Inverness match against Celtic postponed due to waterlogged pitch.
 

skybluedan

Well-Known Member
Aug 4, 2010
3,309
1,508
213
jersey (right on the beach)
got arrested today for wrapping my dick in the beano and wanking on the bus.........
apparently this is not classed as comic relief...............
 

Coventry La La La

New Member
Apr 6, 2010
3,410
1
0
Coventry
For some reason I'm really struggling to sell my house at the moment.

I've done everything they've recommended...

Painted the walls black.
Painted the floors black.
Painted the ceiling black.
I'm even answering the door in a tin foil suit.

I was told to give the illusion of space.
 

Minder

New Member
Mar 20, 2011
30
0
0
I put some body spray on last night, but I only managed to pull Anne Robinson.

It must have been the weakest Lynx.
 

SuperFred

Well-Known Member
Mar 27, 2010
629
307
113
I've just been dumped by my girlfriend. She found me creepy because I have a nickname for my penis.

Guess now that I'm single again, I'll have to take Matters into my own hands.
 

ccfcadz

New Member
Aug 12, 2008
211
0
0
CV5
It's ironic that Reading Festival would be fucked if they booked none of the bands...

...whereas a reading festival would be fucked if they banned all the books.
 

ccfcadz

New Member
Aug 12, 2008
211
0
0
CV5
A friend of mine in the parachute regiment has been stationed in Switzerland for the last 2 years.He has recently married a local girl who can wash up with one hand, cook with the other, dust with a foot while sucking his cock and she opens a beer with her arse.

Shes called a swiss army wife.
 

Bunnykins

New Member
Feb 25, 2008
962
1
0
Coventry, West Midlands
2 policewoman are sitting in their patrol car with their German Shepherd
one says to the other Gosh I'm Cold and I left my knickers back at the station
The other says I know let the Dog sniff your $%&*** to get the scent and send him in the Station to get them for you.....


She doe's this the Dog Comes back 10 minutes later with A Trunchon A Broomhandle and 2 of The Sargents Fingers.......:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
 

Minder

New Member
Mar 20, 2011
30
0
0
So, X-rated websites have been given the approval to have the XXX domain name?


Surely this is going to confuse the Americans when they are shopping for clothes online.
 

Bunnykins

New Member
Feb 25, 2008
962
1
0
Coventry, West Midlands
The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and She asked the question:

'When you die and go to Heaven... Which part of your body goes first?'

Suzy raised her hand and said: 'I think it's your hands.'

'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?'
Suzy replied: 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.'

'What a wonderful answer!' the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said: 'Sister, I think it's your feet.'

The nun asked
'Now, Little Johnny, why do you Think it would be your feet?'

Little Johnny said:
'Well, I walked into Mummy and Daddy's bedroom the other night,
Mummy Had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying: 'Oh ! God, I'm coming!'
If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her
 

smileycov

Facebook User
Apr 13, 2010
3,249
531
113
Lincoln
I saw a dyslexic yorkshireman.......he was wearing a cat flap!!
 

Users who are viewing this thread