Bad joke corner (1 Viewer)

SkyBlue_Am

New Member

• Apr 23, 2011

• #666

Why did the skeleton go to the dance by themselves?

Because they had no body to go with!

 

bamalamafizzfazz

New Member

• Apr 23, 2011

• #667

In the news this morning it said that funeral parlours are going to test glass coffins. Will it be a success?

Remains to be seen

 

bamalamafizzfazz

New Member

• Apr 24, 2011

• #668

I've just started a band called The 999 Megabytes. We haven't done a gig yet.

 

SkyBlue_Am

New Member

• Apr 25, 2011

• #669

Boy: "Do you want to play the fire engine game?
"Girl: "How do you play that?
"Boy: "My fingers are the fire engine and I drive up your legs. You say 'Red light!' when you want me to stop.
"Girl: "Okay, let's play."After a few seconds...
Girl: "Red light!"
Boy: "Fire engines don't stop for red lights."

 

J

JCR1987

New Member

• Apr 26, 2011

• #670

Sebastian Vettel's great-grandad was another successful German. However, Seb has some way to go - Grandpa Vettel took over 700 poles in 1943...

 

J

JCR1987

New Member

• Apr 26, 2011

• #671

Q. What takes up eighteen parking spaces?
A. Nine women drivers.

 

SkyBlue_Am

New Member

• Apr 26, 2011

• #672

Q. Whats brown and sticky?

A. A stick

 

bamalamafizzfazz

New Member

• Apr 26, 2011

• #673

Q. What's pink and wobbly and hangs out your underpants?

A. Your mum.

 

bamalamafizzfazz

New Member

• Apr 26, 2011

• #674

Q. What goes ha ha thud?

A. A man laughing his head off

 

bamalamafizzfazz

New Member

• Apr 26, 2011

• #675

A pony and an Eagle walked up to a Coyote. The pony said to the Coyote, "I am very mad at Eagle. Will you yell at him for me?" Coyote said to Pony, "Why can you not yell yourself?" And Pony replied, "Because I am a little horse."

 

H

Hugh Jarse

Well-Known Member

• Apr 26, 2011

• #676

What's got 100 legs and 30 pubic hairs?

The front row of a Justin Beiber concert.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Apr 26, 2011

• #677

BBC NEWS - "World's oldest man dies"

Why does this keep happening?

 

SkyBlue_Am

New Member

• Apr 26, 2011

• #678

Why is 6 scared of 7?

because 7 ate(8) 9

 

bamalamafizzfazz

New Member

• Apr 27, 2011

• #679

Three blondes trapped on a desert island. One day a genie apears and says he wants to grant them each a wish.
So the first blonde who was the least intelligent says, "I wish I could be smart enough to get off this island and I don't care how I do it"
"Your wish is granted" says the the genie and turns her into a redhead and she swims off the island.

The second who is slightly smarter says "I also wish I could be smart enough to get off this island but I don't want to swim because I will get my hair wet."
"Your wish is granted" says the genie and turns her into a brunette and she builds a raft and sails away.

The final blonde who is somehow slightly more smarter than the other two says, "I also want to get off this island but I don't want to get my hair wet and I don't want to do any hard work"
"Your wish is granted" says the genie and turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge.

 

S

smileycov

Facebook User

• Apr 27, 2011

• #680

SkyBlue_Am said:

Q. Whats brown and sticky?

A. A stick

Click to expand...

Whats white and sticky?



Peter Crouch

 

R

Richard Smith

New Member

• Apr 27, 2011

• #681

A Story with a moral.My girlfriend told me 2 call over 2 her house one day. When I arrived, I found her unbelievably sexy sister alone.She whispered in my ear, ''I'm very horny, and i need u to shag me now"I turned around & walked out of the front door and towards my car.I found my girlfriend standing there & she hugged me & said, "U have won my trust"MORAL :Its better to keep the CONDOMS in the car nt ure pocket

 

bamalamafizzfazz

New Member

• Apr 28, 2011

• #682

Shakespeare walks into a pub. The landlord shouts "get out ya bard!"

 

Disorganised1

New Member

• Apr 29, 2011

• #683

Barca after the treble !

Which for them consists of The League, The Champions League, and an Oscar.

 

K

KelV6

New Member

• May 2, 2011

• #684

News just in re: Bin Laden's death.


Elton John to record tribute song





'Sandals in the Bin'

 

C

canningt

New Member

• May 2, 2011

• #685

President Bush tried, and failed.
President Clinton tried, and failed.
President Obama tried, and succeded.

The moral of this is...
If you want someone dead, hire a black man...

 

SkyBlue_Am

New Member

• May 2, 2011

• #686

Apparently, Bin Laden had a 25 million dollar price tag on his head.

What kind of ridiculous, designer turban was he wearing?!

 

J

JCR1987

New Member

• May 3, 2011

• #687

Bin Laden is finally dead. Do I still have to take my shoes off at the airport?

 

CovKingChris

Facebook User

• May 3, 2011

• #688

No-one else post. It's on page 69.

lulz.

 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator

• May 3, 2011

• #689

RIP Osama bin Laden, World Hide and Seek Champion (2001-2011)

 

K

KelV6

New Member

• May 4, 2011

• #690

Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinise restaurant and Luke's having trouble with the chopsticks


Finally, Obi-Wan says, "Use the forks, Luke."

 

skybluedan

Well-Known Member

• May 4, 2011

• #691

whats the difference between a dead prostitute and a onion???????????????????????????
i cried when i chopped up the onion.......................................

 

H

Hugh Jarse

Well-Known Member

• May 4, 2011

• #692

New Starbucks Coffee
'Bin Latte' - Dark bodied, skinny, frothy head with 2 shots in it


Anagram of Osama Bin Laden is……………………….Lob da man in sea

 

Tankie

New Member

• May 4, 2011

• #693

What do you call a scouser in a Suit

"The Accused"

 

Tankie

New Member

• May 4, 2011

• #694

The Queen and Kate Middleton were in deep conversation,
"Your Majesty", said Kate, I always get indigestion, when I suck Williams Knob,

To which the Queen replied..."Has one tried Andrews"

 

E

egastap

New Member

• May 4, 2011

• #695

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and
he shares his.. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast... They had a wonderful, wonderful time.....

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings... The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman.. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies. . .



Wait for it. .



It's coming. ..




The suspense is killing you, isn't it?






She says:

'You just happened to catch my eye.'


Boom-Boom

 

K

KelV6

New Member

• May 5, 2011

• #696

Until recently nobody knew Abbotabad. Or even, Faisalabad or Islamabad.


But everyone’s known Westhamabad for most of the season.

 

H

Hugh Jarse

Well-Known Member

• May 5, 2011

• #697

Tell you what, I'll bet Bin Laden's cursing filling out his census form!

 

Lets all sing together

New Member

• May 5, 2011

• #698

What do Kate Middleton and Osama Bin Laden have in common?

Last weekend a man from the navy smashed in their back door and shot his load in their face.

 

J

JCR1987

New Member

• May 6, 2011

• #699

I call my grandfather spiderman. He doesn't have any super powers, he just cant get out of the bath

 

dilligaf

New Member

• May 14, 2011

• #700

The wife has been missing a week now

Police said to prepare for the worst....... So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back