Are you happy

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Rich, Jun 18, 2019.

  1. Rich

    Rich Will the real Dale Evans please stand up

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    6,665
    Likes Received:
    2,878
    Location:
    Ricoh Arena
    Credit:
    £224.27
    I'm having a bit of a think.
    I'm not happy.
    I'm not happy with me.
    I'm not happy with who I've become.
    I'm going to change me.

    With all this mental health awareness around of late I think I can admit to a whole load of unknown people that I'm not happy with me.

    I did a test online, I've always been awkward and I really dislike being in large social gatherings. I hate crowds and my god I can't queue it stresses me out. I'm 90% certain to be autistic, obviously high functioning. I've lived 35 years and not one person around me has suggested that I might wanna get checked. They all just think "he's a bit of a twat".

    I'm at piece with this now, to be fair this is the first time I've revealed this anywhere and I'm happy that I've done it.

    This is the first step toward me saying "it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of me, I'm going to be me!"

    Anyone else feel they need to share something?
     
  2. rob9872

    rob9872 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2011
    Messages:
    8,070
    Likes Received:
    4,005
    Credit:
    £1,961.05
    I know I am I'm sure I am, I'm H-A-P-P-Y
     
    Rich likes this.
  3. tom88

    tom88 Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2011
    Messages:
    961
    Likes Received:
    237
    Credit:
    £45.14
    Well done fella I hope you see the light at the end of the tunnel

    Ive been struggling recently too. Some days I'm excellent other days Im really down but I try and not show it. I've had bad anxiety in the chest. The black dog video was shown to me the other day and it really hit home and I could relate to it
     
  4. rob9872

    rob9872 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2011
    Messages:
    8,070
    Likes Received:
    4,005
    Credit:
    £1,961.05
     
  5. Nick

    Nick Administrator

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    99,595
    Likes Received:
    34,945
    Location:
    Coventry
    Credit:
    £11,545.22
    Fair play for saying it, have you thought about going to be diagnosed?
     
  6. Rich

    Rich Will the real Dale Evans please stand up

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    6,665
    Likes Received:
    2,878
    Location:
    Ricoh Arena
    Credit:
    £224.27
    Part of it is obsessing. As a result I know how hard it is to get diagnosed as a 35 year old. I also know that it has fuck all relevance to anything.

    Like literally nothing, it would not affect my life one bit being diagnosed.

    To be diagnosed though would mean I have to actually open my mouth and tell someone. That is what would literally be impossible for me to do.
     
  7. clint van damme

    clint van damme Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2015
    Messages:
    12,052
    Likes Received:
    12,452
    Credit:
    £1,700.42
    What is the black dog video?
     
  8. Nick

    Nick Administrator

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    99,595
    Likes Received:
    34,945
    Location:
    Coventry
    Credit:
    £11,545.22
    Doesnt have to be though, they could try CBT or something?
     
  9. Rich

    Rich Will the real Dale Evans please stand up

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    6,665
    Likes Received:
    2,878
    Location:
    Ricoh Arena
    Credit:
    £224.27
    Compulsory bike test?
     
  10. Gazolba

    Gazolba Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2013
    Messages:
    7,175
    Likes Received:
    2,684
    Location:
    BBC says 'outside the UK'
    Credit:
    £2,450.25
    It sounds about the normal degree of dysfunction to me.
    You're probably an introvert, we all hate social situations and avoid them wherever possible.
    Because of this people think we are weird, then after a while you start believing it yourself.
    It wouldn't hurt to have a few sessions with a therapist, you might learn something about yourself.
     
    djr8369 and Rich like this.
  11. bulko

    bulko Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2013
    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    bulkington
    Credit:
    £94.00
    Cognitive behaviour therapy
     
  12. The Reverend Skyblue

    The Reverend Skyblue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2011
    Messages:
    3,187
    Likes Received:
    2,932
    Location:
    South Norfolk
    Credit:
    £287.50
    A diagnosis would really help I think. It will put you in touch with the correct specialist therapist and also allow your doctor to prescribe the medication and dosage best suited to you.
    My daughter was diagnosed bi-polar two years ago and now she's on the right medication and dosage it's turned her life around. Before she was constantly down, but now she rarely has a bad day, she's so much happier now .
    It's all about getting the right diagnosis. The help will follow and will only help you as long as your a bit patient actually seeing a specialist post diagnosis.
    Go for it Rich, I feel it could really help you
     
    Houchens Head, Nick and Rich like this.
  13. tom88

    tom88 Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2011
    Messages:
    961
    Likes Received:
    237
    Credit:
    £45.14
     
  14. Rich

    Rich Will the real Dale Evans please stand up

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    6,665
    Likes Received:
    2,878
    Location:
    Ricoh Arena
    Credit:
    £224.27
    I don’t get depressed. I don’t do drugs. I couldn’t do anything silly that would affect myself and others.

    I was walking across a cliff top yesterday. Someone’s dog was being a twat. “Stubborn in her old age” he said. It was 40
    Minutes of walking and thinking before I came up with the perfect response. As it was I just literally ignored him. That happens a lot.
     
  15. The Reverend Skyblue

    The Reverend Skyblue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2011
    Messages:
    3,187
    Likes Received:
    2,932
    Location:
    South Norfolk
    Credit:
    £287.50
    Just to emphasise that even after a diagnosis and being in therapy and on the correct medication you will still have bad days, but they will be fewer , and in the dark times you will know that soon you will have a happy period that could last a much longer time.
     
    stupot07 and Rich like this.
  16. bulko

    bulko Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2013
    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    bulkington
    Credit:
    £94.00
    I tried a website called livinglifetothefull
    In 2008 when I was low
     
  17. Rich

    Rich Will the real Dale Evans please stand up

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    6,665
    Likes Received:
    2,878
    Location:
    Ricoh Arena
    Credit:
    £224.27
    Got a link?
     
  18. Sky_Blue_Daz

    Sky_Blue_Daz Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2011
    Messages:
    4,093
    Likes Received:
    1,883
    Credit:
    £1,297.62
    I’m struggling with frustration rather then depression at the moment

    Since I broke my ankle and had s skin graft I’ve had 3 operations 2 weeks complete bed rest ( which is a real dignity stripper)could only toe touch weight bear up until past week

    I can now fully weight bear on crutches with a protective boot, It’s just simple things like going upstairs and going into the shower and it all got to much for me on Friday and I had what I can only describe as a meltdown as I had a mental block of trying to get in my front door , I just couldn’t / didn’t have the confidence to lift my good foot onto the step through the front door .

    I’m getting there now though as I’m getting more used to being on the crutches and boot. Hopefully anther 3/4 weeks on the crutches
     
  19. NorthernWisdom

    NorthernWisdom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2013
    Messages:
    18,724
    Likes Received:
    14,311
    Credit:
    £2,445.21
    Is that abnormal?
     
  20. Gazolba

    Gazolba Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2013
    Messages:
    7,175
    Likes Received:
    2,684
    Location:
    BBC says 'outside the UK'
    Credit:
    £2,450.25
    Why all this talk about medication? That should be a last resort.
    All medication has side effects that are often worse than the original problem.
    If anyone tells you you need to take medication, I'd get a second opinion.
     
    skybluetony176 likes this.
  21. hill83

    hill83 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2008
    Messages:
    11,896
    Likes Received:
    15,921
    Location:
    Coventry
    Credit:
    £7,257.26
    I’ll probably get laughed at. But have a serious think about meditation. Plenty of apps out there for guidance if needed. I wouldn’t say I’m ‘unhappy’ in general but definitely like time alone now and again.
     
  22. Grendel

    Grendel Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2011
    Messages:
    44,415
    Likes Received:
    13,588
    Credit:
    £3,684.38
    Led Zeppelin?
     
    ovduk78 likes this.
  23. rob9872

    rob9872 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2011
    Messages:
    8,070
    Likes Received:
    4,005
    Credit:
    £1,961.05
    Can we rename this thread to "other people are cunts" :)
     
  24. Gazolba

    Gazolba Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2013
    Messages:
    7,175
    Likes Received:
    2,684
    Location:
    BBC says 'outside the UK'
    Credit:
    £2,450.25
    Many people swear by Transcendental Meditation.
    Transcendental Meditation® Technique – Official Website
     
  25. skyblue1991

    skyblue1991 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2012
    Messages:
    2,132
    Likes Received:
    802
    Credit:
    £354.73
    What is this test online and what does it inform you?

    Good luck either way, we all have good and bad days (some more than others). It's good to talk if you can, problem shared is a problem halved

    Sent from my G8441 using Tapatalk
     
  26. olderskyblue

    olderskyblue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2011
    Messages:
    2,638
    Likes Received:
    1,577
    Credit:
    £682.04
    Unfortunately, some issues are caused by chemical imbalances in your brain, and medication can be the only help, and the side effects are far less worse than the problem you are trying to solve. Not all though, and I agree with Hill about meditation.
     
  27. Mcbean

    Mcbean Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,532
    Likes Received:
    664
    Credit:
    £273.48
    I think we could probably all own up to a bit of a wobble - best thing is a problem shared is a problem halved - share with the right people and it’s a win win - you have shared it once with virtual peeps on here - well worth finding some face to face help - good luck onwards and upwards
     
    Rich and Nick like this.
  28. olderskyblue

    olderskyblue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2011
    Messages:
    2,638
    Likes Received:
    1,577
    Credit:
    £682.04
    A good first step, but do you see any future steps that involve talking to someone about this? It might be helpful...
     
    vow and Nick like this.
  29. olderskyblue

    olderskyblue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2011
    Messages:
    2,638
    Likes Received:
    1,577
    Credit:
    £682.04
    The problem is, a "wobble" to most is nothing to be concerned about, a "wobble" to others can be far more serious. As you said, sharing it with others (professionals in that field) is well worth it, and can identify which side of that fence you happen to be on, and put your mind at rest either way.

    friends family etc are probably more aware now than ever before about these sorts of issues, but being aware of, and actually helping can be miles apart.
     
    Mcbean likes this.
  30. clint van damme

    clint van damme Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2015
    Messages:
    12,052
    Likes Received:
    12,452
    Credit:
    £1,700.42
    you talk some amount of shite, don't listen to morons on message boards would be better advice.

    There is a very real ned for medication in many cases as this post demonstrates.

     
    Nick likes this.
  31. bulko

    bulko Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2013
    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    bulkington
    Credit:
    £94.00
    Rich likes this.
  32. bringbackrattles

    bringbackrattles Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2013
    Messages:
    5,708
    Likes Received:
    3,043
    Credit:
    £2,181.09
    As I was always getting into trouble and ending up in prison a solicitor said I needed professional help. I laughed at him as nobody had ever mentioned that even when I was banged up inside. Anyway 20 odd years ago I saw a psychologist at Walsgrave hospital, and all she said to me was just talk. I had never had anyone say that before and was unsure what she meant. Anyway after half a dozen sessions she concluded I wasn't a nutter or beyond help ! To put in a few words she got me to change my thinking etc, and instead of chinning somebody who had "upset " me I learnt techniques to help me etc. It wasn't easy and they take you back to your childhood and bad stuff that has happened in your life, but I was determined to change and stuck with it. So in conclusion I'd recommend seeing a professional person for "mind matters" as it helped me as I reckon I'd have carried on being aggressive and a menace to society if not for psychological help.
     
  33. skybluetony176

    skybluetony176 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2013
    Messages:
    21,532
    Likes Received:
    12,506
    Credit:
    £4,888.68
    Sounds more like anxiety to me. I have experienced some of the same symptoms (getting irrationally stressed in queues especially) myself and it’s been diagnosed as anxiety.

    You can take drugs for it but I’ve decided against them. Just admitting it myself and becoming aware of what it was a big change. Good diet as also helped a lot. People don’t realise that your stomach and mind are connected by identical cells that communicate with each other and an unhappy stomach (even though you’re not feeling physical symptoms of that) can effect your mental wellbeing. It’s no accident that a rise of metal health issues such as anxiety, panic attacks coincides with a rise in poor diets, especially the consumption of processed foods that can be high in chemicals as preservatives, colourings and flavourings. That’s been the biggest two things that helped me.

    I can still get it from time to time but no where near as regularly and no where near as intense. In that situation I find that having a little chat with myself in my head telling myself not to be so stupid can snap me out of it and drinking lots of water, which I assume dilutes whatever is making my stomach unhappy at that moment in time effecting my mental well-being, although it’s possibly a placebo it doesn’t matter because for whatever reason it works.

    My advice is go to your doctors and tell them about it.
     
    bringbackrattles, Nick and Rich like this.
  34. scottccfc

    scottccfc Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2012
    Messages:
    561
    Likes Received:
    282
    Credit:
    £74.47
    this is hard to write,
    i'm glad I've came across this topic today.
    Saturday just gone my wife of 10 years came out with the news that she is leaving me.to be totally honest it didn't come as total shock.
    Something that we haven't done over the years is talk, i'd always keep my feelings/anger inside and not mention it to anyone but let it out by playing rugby and she would do the same but choose to go town with her mates and get rat arsed.
    but since Saturday we have talked a lot about the wrong doings during our time together (not talking to each other about problems etc) and its struck me that maybe I am depressed and haven't dealt well with things that have happened to me in the past and its effected our relationship.
    I have had a couple of days off work since then only going back to work today and I have thought about me and what I have become as a person and I don't really like the answer, I don't like who I am.

    Sorry that this post is quite a ramble
     
    vow, NorthernWisdom, Covstu and 4 others like this.
  35. skybluetony176

    skybluetony176 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2013
    Messages:
    21,532
    Likes Received:
    12,506
    Credit:
    £4,888.68
    Again sounds like anxiety. Nothing about it seems rational.
     

Share This Page