Houchens Head
Fairly well known member from Malvern
That was just my chat-up line, sweet lips!
That was just my chat-up line, sweet lips!Oh now you say that! But when we spooned you seemed very keen! :wideyed:
I went to Uni in Sunderland and started going to a few Sunderland games with the local lads I met, so I also prefer them over Newcastle.I like Sunderland more than Newcastle and I don't mind Aston Villa. I hate Leicester though!!
I nearly voted Conservative at the last election to try & stop the SNP candidate winning but my conscience wouldn't let me. The Conservative won anyway which strangely made me very happy.
One more I promise to fook off. I got a job for a butchers in Kenilworth and drove around in a shitty LDV van that was refrigerated etc and had to deliver chilled food to posh restaurants all over Stratford and further afield. My old dad asked me if I knew anyone with a van. I sad what is it you want moving? Four seater setea that had a broken back so it bowed in the middle. I kindly said I finish early in a Friday will drive to Coventry and we will get it in the van and take it to Kenilworth tip. We pushed and pulled and eventually got it in the back of this refrigerated van. We set off sweating like a pair of rapists and headed off to the tip. I don’t know what happed but on the way there was a loud bang and the refrigerator unit kicked in and we looked at each other and soon arrived at the tip. We turned up and opened the doors bearing in mind the vans got the butchers name on and I’m in a white boiler suit looking like a right twat and we couldn’t get the setea out! We pushed and pulled and all it did was break the fibre glass lining in the back or bend the refrigerator grills! We are fooked I thought so took my dad home with the sofa well and truly wedged in.
I went back to work parked up as usual and fooked off!
I didn’t go back the next day and after ignoring the home phone for 2 weeks often wondered if they ever got the fooker out!
Sweating like a pair of rapists??
That was just my chat-up line, sweet lips!
On a night when I got dumped by my lady who I was really fond of, this tale brought quite a smile to my face !When I was 16 a lad up the road advertised a service for cutting grass and hedges etc in the local shop window, a right knob he was always picking on me when I walked home from school.
I though fuck it I’ve had enough so rang him up and pretended to be a neighbour across the road from me and said could he come round and chop a fruit tree in the middle of his front garden down as it was getting too hard to manage. He obliged and promptly turned up an hour later on his bike with all the tools in hand. I told him on the phone not to bother knocking the door as I would be out collecting the wife from work and would be back in time before the job was finished to pay him.
Fuck me he got straight to it and pulled out a huge fuck off saw from his ruck sack and cut the tree down! Just as it hit the ground the house holders wife care running out and went fucking mad. Next thing the police were called and hell broke loose with neighbours shouting and wrestling him to the ground. He protested his innocence but to no avail.
I just looked at it all unfold from the safety of my mum and dads bedroom! Without further delay he was put into the back of a police car and taken to his parents house so I was told the next day.
Serves the c**t right lol. Justice is a dish best served cold!
You really should read "how to win friends and influence people"In true Christonabike style I'll sign off with one more...
As City have somewhat floundered through the divisions in the last 5 years or so, I've increasingly turned to watching some other local teams. Sounds disgraceful, but I still go to many city matches home and away, but maybe 6-10 games a season I'll go to a non league game or possibly higher. I will add, without turning this into another tedious debate, that I see this purely as an alternative to the frankly crap matchday experience and atmosphere at The Ricoh, and it's nothing to do with our performances, the fact we kept losing, SISU, etc.
Bedworth United feature heavily, as my home team. I've also been fairly regular at Nuneaton (always supporting the opposition of course, although standing in the home end). Leamington Town, where I went to a memorable game in the Hednesford Town end. Birmingham City, where I've been lucky enough to witness them put in some shocking performances which have incensed their fans, including a Derby defeat to Wolves where they threw away a comfortable lead in spectacular fashion. But my favourite has to be wolves. Not only is the atmosphere there fairly intense for a home crowd, they are also utter scumbags. One of my favourite footballing moments of the last 5-10 years is being there when they got relegated at home to Burnley on the last day of the season and invaded the pitch at the end. I've even been to a Walsall match that was neither a Derby or a high profile match, I think they were playing Wigan, I just fancied a different ground and atmosphere.
My final confession is one that may be known already. I was the city fan in Sixfields who was involved in the "fisticuffs" with the hillers after the Brentford game. Truth is that whilst I certainly felt provoked with the "scab" comments, I probably aggravated the situation by sprinting about 200 yards to confront them whilst threatening to "kick fuck" out of everyone in the vicinity. Probably best for all concerned that there were a few police around, and whilst they apprehended the 4 hillers involved, I made a hasty escape between two buildings, across the b&q carpark, onto the streets of Northampton, and hid out in a pub until the furore had died down.
Forgot to say I was 32 at the timeOh! And it was me who had a shit in the sand pit at wyken croft infants
On a night when I got dumped by my lady who I was really fond of, this tale brought quite a smile to my face !
Thank you
And the award for post of the year is claimed, take a bow mateWhen I was 16 a lad up the road advertised a service for cutting grass and hedges etc in the local shop window, a right knob he was always picking on me when I walked home from school.
I though fuck it I’ve had enough so rang him up and pretended to be a neighbour across the road from me and said could he come round and chop a fruit tree in the middle of his front garden down as it was getting too hard to manage. He obliged and promptly turned up an hour later on his bike with all the tools in hand. I told him on the phone not to bother knocking the door as I would be out collecting the wife from work and would be back in time before the job was finished to pay him.
Fuck me he got straight to it and pulled out a huge fuck off saw from his ruck sack and cut the tree down! Just as it hit the ground the house holders wife care running out and went fucking mad. Next thing the police were called and hell broke loose with neighbours shouting and wrestling him to the ground. He protested his innocence but to no avail.
I just looked at it all unfold from the safety of my mum and dads bedroom! Without further delay he was put into the back of a police car and taken to his parents house so I was told the next day.
Serves the c**t right lol. Justice is a dish best served cold!
Now this might not go down to well, but I have to confess I don't find brian funny.
Don't get all the 'oh how hilarious' comments every time he simply does the same thing, I really don't. It's a one joke, used to be funny, but the same joke, played over and over ad infinitum routine.
There used to be CAPSLOCK COLIN on GMK, who used to just type everything in uppercase. It was very funny ..... at first, but then the joke had been done and the user disappeared over time.
I get the joke, but the same joke over and over and over again? Fine if that's his/her bag, but what I don't get is the posters who still find it hilarious after all these years. It's one joke and the same joke.
For me now it doesn't even raise the slightest grin.
A man goes into a fish and chip shop and says....
'Can I have a steak and kiddly pie please!'
And the guy on the counter says ..
'Don't you mean steak and kidney?'
To which the man replies...
'That's what I said diddle I?'
Now imagine that same joke over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Still laughing?
Sorry, brian, but your time is up. LOL.
Anyone else agree, or is it just me?
Who's BrianNow this might not go down to well, but I have to confess I don't find brian funny.
Don't get all the 'oh how hilarious' comments every time he simply does the same thing, I really don't. It's a one joke, used to be funny, but the same joke, played over and over ad infinitum routine.
There used to be CAPSLOCK COLIN on GMK, who used to just type everything in uppercase. It was very funny ..... at first, but then the joke had been done and the user disappeared over time.
I get the joke, but the same joke over and over and over again? Fine if that's his/her bag, but what I don't get is the posters who still find it hilarious after all these years. It's one joke and the same joke.
For me now it doesn't even raise the slightest grin.
A man goes into a fish and chip shop and says....
'Can I have a steak and kiddly pie please!'
And the guy on the counter says ..
'Don't you mean steak and kidney?'
To which the man replies...
'That's what I said diddle I?'
Now imagine that same joke over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Still laughing?
Sorry, brian, but your time is up. LOL.
Anyone else agree, or is it just me?
Excellent stuff !Song for you:
I at least try and vary things and change my routine from time to time.You sre complaining about someone doing the samethibg over and over for laughs.
LOL!
Now this might not go down to well, but I have to confess I don't find brian funny.
Don't get all the 'oh how hilarious' comments every time he simply does the same thing, I really don't. It's a one joke, used to be funny, but the same joke, played over and over ad infinitum routine.
There used to be CAPSLOCK COLIN on GMK, who used to just type everything in uppercase. It was very funny ..... at first, but then the joke had been done and the user disappeared over time.
I get the joke, but the same joke over and over and over again? Fine if that's his/her bag, but what I don't get is the posters who still find it hilarious after all these years. It's one joke and the same joke.
For me now it doesn't even raise the slightest grin.
A man goes into a fish and chip shop and says....
'Can I have a steak and kiddly pie please!'
And the guy on the counter says ..
'Don't you mean steak and kidney?'
To which the man replies...
'That's what I said diddle I?'
Now imagine that same joke over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Still laughing?
Sorry, brian, but your time is up. LOL.
Anyone else agree, or is it just me?
Imagine if I decided to call Tony Mowbray, Tony Lowbrow and then just kept putting that same name in every post, believing it to be hilariously funny.You sre complaining about someone doing the samethibg over and over for laughs.
LOL!
Yep, miss the good ones. The rest can all rot in hell and damnation.One of my confessions:
I miss GMK Online.
I miss the great posts of those that haven't transferred their allegiance to SBT: Knowl, Smiles sb7jon, Mustapha etc.. Also miss the wind up merchants in bob bones, alan, fishymores and SkyBlueScotland (particularly alan)
Anyone the same?
Weren't fishymores and SkyBlueScotland the same guy? He was a very angry man!! Used to love citizens_arrest, many of his comments made me laugh out loudOne of my confessions:
I miss GMK Online.
I miss the great posts of those that haven't transferred their allegiance to SBT: Knowl, Smiles sb7jon, Mustapha etc.. Also miss the wind up merchants in bob bones, alan, fishymores and SkyBlueScotland (particularly alan)
Anyone the same?
I liked fishymoores. Remember Flute and DrummerBoy?Weren't fishymores and SkyBlueScotland the same guy? He was a very angry man!! Used to love citizens_arrest, many of his comments made me laugh out loud
Yes I believe so.Weren't fishymores and SkyBlueScotland the same guy? He was a very angry man!! Used to love citizens_arrest, many of his comments made me laugh out loud
HAS GREY GONEImagine if I decided to call Tony Mowbray, Tony Lowbrow and then just kept putting that same name in every post, believing it to be hilariously funny.
Or if I kept calling him Melton.
Killer_Rumble had some great rants a particular highlight on Gmk was a thread started by a guy called luckylad who was a copper on duty doing a question and answer session as he was bored at work, dunney was a pretty decent poster on it tooI liked fishymoores. Remember Flute and DrummerBoy?
Dunney used to get seven bells of shit kicked out of him on there. Well and truly pummeled.Killer_Rumble had some great rants a particular highlight on Gmk was a thread started by a guy called luckylad who was a copper on duty doing a question and answer session as he was bored at work, dunney was a pretty decent poster on it too
I know dunney, he wouldn't of give a s##t .He's a really decent ladDunney used to get seven bells of shit kicked out of him on there. Well and truly pummeled.
Felt sorry for him, but I don't think it bothered him to be honest.
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