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Usain Bolt is retiring from sprinting and looking to play football. He's going over to train with Borussia Dortmund. Could we sneak in? Only snag is that he's a goalie.

I had a dream about 10 naked ladies and a packet of fruit loops.

Did you know that it only takes one psychoanalyst to change a light bulb, but the light bulb has to want to change?

I agree, prison should be about reform

I'd like to see him given a chance in goal. Both RCC and Burge are useless/brilliant and Haynes could cut inside any attacking player to guide the ball to safety.

I like the way it's dripping new leads to what is happening at a slow pace. But could they really keep this up for more than a couple of seasons?

I'm interested in prisons. How likely is it that criminals can be reformed with proactive help and encouragement rather than incarceration & living in a poisonous atmosphere?

Wow, I always wondered how the internet worked. So do you have to pedal it manually? Fortunately I was already in bed so didn't miss it.

I predict an impeachment once one of these claims goes to court. What is more worrying is that a majority of Americans think this is a good idea.

Any builders out there? Shall we start a new company exporting bricks to Mexico?

Oooooooooooh the disappointment. I thought Duran Duran had a new single.

Yes, well we've already got the measure of your dodgy musical taste. ;)

Nope, a stingy middle aged bloke.

I prefer "careful"

I've a mate who is a Cambridge fan. We went to see them in their cup run in 198/9x? for a couple of ties. First time I saw Dion play.

Cheeky. If you have a picture in your head of me as a tweed-sporting dandy you'd be disappointed. Still have a Cov' accent and dress in 20 year old clothes.

Chief Dave and Astute. I agree with you. I haven't made myself clear. I know many families who have just enough to get by every month. Ashdown has a point that many of these families also have the latest iphone and gadgets that I wouldn't imagine buying for myself because I'm frugal - but...

How do you get a mortgage when you already owe £50k of university debt?

I agree with everything you say Astute. I wasn't talking about people in temporary accommodation or people who work and are just getting by paying huge rent. Indeed it is their plight that took me also down the route of voting Leave; I see huge problems down the line for young people in debt...

Oh I didn't realise yes porno is ancient