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Might have nowt to do with the City top though and more to do with your face. You an ugly fooker perchance? :D

Hopefully though, the 10 pieces of bad news will be that David Bell is going to feature in the first 10 games of the season.

Mine is more pruney.

And inside the bottle is a ship. It's a ship of fools.

Just get "Academy Kid" on the back of your shirt and you'll be fine.

1 in every 5? That's shocking for a striker. 9 goals would probably make him City's top scorer mind.

Ahh, it's amazing what you can conjure up on Microsoft Publisher!!

Dear Joy, Accepting this offer will result in my no longer be able to sit in the Premier seats at the Odeon cinema and my having to think twice about 'going large' at McDonald's and Burger King. I will have to buy silver slippers rather than gold plated ones and may have to choose belly pork...

That's a bit cruel on Thorn.

How do we know the Twitter everyone is accessing on here which contains the Oliver Norwood, who may or may not be the real Oliver Norwood, who talks about the Alex Nimley who isn't the real Alex Nimely, is the real Twitter?

What if the Oliver Norwood on Twitter isn't the real Oliver Norwood?

Potters Green Under 11's Girls 2nd Team?

With the squad we've got we can only play 5 a sides!

Syers - BANG Collins - BANG Herd - BANG Norwood - BANG Fleck - Yet to be BANGED

My daughter's supposed to be performing on Sunday. Can't see that being re-scheduled to be honest.

I haven't renewed yet.

You were going to shine a torch inbetween your ears?

Double bugger!!!! Echo and the Bunnymen tonight. As least, it was supposed to be!!

No. :facepalm:

Will it be a one and a half man tent?