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I wish I was. I am deadly serious. They will pay me £15 for today's work, but as I say I had to make a purchase of £5 even though I didn't want anything from the poxy shop. They had a plain green jumper which I had to try on as part of the check. It had no pattern, no markings, was really thin...

this is Villa and Leshtur we are talking about here. That's not football that's torture!!!

Which other sport would you turn to instead?

Oops, forgot the car park charges. Let's say it will be £2 for 1 hour. That means I will owe them £1.04. Do you think they would accept a cheque?

And now the fookers have just emailed me another one! :facepalm: Leshtur to John Lewis. They are going to pay me £12. no purchase required. Hmmmm, let me think. Estimated petrol cost = £5.52 each way, that's £11.04. That means a days work for 96p. It's a job that just keeps giving and giving...

All I know is that if David Bell lived next door to me I'd be very wary to put salt down on the paths in Winter.

Come on though, let's face it, you're a student. I bet you did fook all that 1 hour! :D

That's fine, but what was the rate of pay?

Worked my entire life since the age of 16 and never been out of work for more than a couple of weeks ... until I lost my job in July this year that is. Been applying for all sorts and getting nowhere and am now scraping the bottom of the barrel. Santa's Grotto, sandwich delivery driver...

Was going to say City 5-4 Norwich, but now I don't think looking at the posts that's what you mean. So, Little King's Story on the Wii. And Tiger Woods PGA 10.

Think you will find they actually said 'we were a good team but not as good as the other two teams in Birmingham, Blues and Villa.

If we're 3-0 down with 15 mins to go you'll be fine. You'd have a clear route through as most of the crowd would have left 10 mins earlier.

How much hair do you have growing out your ears? :D

Only if you stick a pork pie on each goalpost.

John Hurt's stomach burst in Alien. The first time you see the shark in Jaws. The "Is it safe?" scene from Marathon Man. When you see the mothership appear over the mountain in 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind.' The "Those aren't pillows" scene and the “You can start by wiping...

I don't get jealous of our older supporters. Most supporters older than me are dead. :D

On the cheese and onion pasties you mean :D

JON PARKIN is set to join Doncaster Rovers on loan, it has been claimed. The big Cardiff City striker nearly joined Coventry City on transfer deadline day only for the deal to collapse over personal terms. However the former Preston man - nicknamed The Beast - now looks set to join...

Don't use the word 'snapped' on the same day that there's news about yet another James McPake injury!

Doesn't he have ligaments the rest of the year then?