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Never a pen.

No-one has said it is always a factor. Or that is has to be factor. Daft though to say it can't be a factor.

It's alright. Just don't see much of a difference to last year's, so I am a bit meh about it. It's okay. Move along, nothing to see here.

Hmm, not sure. It would be a choice of the home top or a pic of Katie Hopkins's ugly mush, so think I will stick with Groucho, thanks.

Can we now put a name to the face?

But we have Max Biamou. Job sorted.

World Cup: 'Picking and plotting England's route to the semis.' Shearer asks -'how can we be so arrogant?' - World Cup: 'Picking England's route to the semis - how can we be so arrogant?'

Just conjured up a quick sketch of that to see what it would look like. Errmmm...... not sure how to break this to you, but it looks rather like this. You can try fiddling with your contrast and brightness on your phone or tablet, but I'm not sure it will make much of a difference. You'd...

BBR is your man. Not his area of coverage, but his area of expertise. There must be a window cleaners club or guild, or something. Maybe a monthly squeegee meeting.

Exactly what the tailor said when Screaming Lord Sutch showed him sketches of this outfit.

Or Gateshead FC.

What a relief Tony Currie, Patrick Berger and Martin Pringle have all retired.

Beautiful! Simply beautiful! I now have tears streaming down my face and I am beating my chest like a tremendously hairy, Eastern Lowland gorilla. I think a little bit of wee just came out too.

I respect your view as well, you Nazi.

The very young and the very old tend to have trouble with solids, so not sure that is such a good plan.

Or our true home, Wembley.

Prefer Sterling over Vardy any day of the week.

Sorry, should have clarified. Was talking about normal people, not the Grammar Nazis.

Hmmmm. 135 year history. 56 years in plain shirts. 79 years not in plain shirts. And I am NOT in a brigade!!!!!!!!!!! Grrrr!!!!!!!