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Okay, I'll try.

Is your mechanic a 40 something Russian lady called Olga?

No. Only going by the pictures. Are you telling me it is really brown?

Wouldn't think you would be saying that with a little fella called Lionel Messi in your team would you.

That's my new signature/tagline! ;)

Do you have them only use spring water for yours?

Could well have been.

Course they are! As somone has said there is poverty in the world, terrorism, war, famine, cancer. You saying stripes aren't minor details? You don't hear Trump saying he has sorted out Korea and the Mexicans, but he can't do anything about the stripes crisis.

Is your surname Kzckowlaslakius?

Carried on into the box though. That also forms part of the decision.

Never a pen.

No-one has said it is always a factor. Or that is has to be factor. Daft though to say it can't be a factor.

It's alright. Just don't see much of a difference to last year's, so I am a bit meh about it. It's okay. Move along, nothing to see here.

Hmm, not sure. It would be a choice of the home top or a pic of Katie Hopkins's ugly mush, so think I will stick with Groucho, thanks.

Can we now put a name to the face?

But we have Max Biamou. Job sorted.

World Cup: 'Picking and plotting England's route to the semis.' Shearer asks -'how can we be so arrogant?' - World Cup: 'Picking England's route to the semis - how can we be so arrogant?'

Just conjured up a quick sketch of that to see what it would look like. Errmmm...... not sure how to break this to you, but it looks rather like this. You can try fiddling with your contrast and brightness on your phone or tablet, but I'm not sure it will make much of a difference. You'd...

BBR is your man. Not his area of coverage, but his area of expertise. There must be a window cleaners club or guild, or something. Maybe a monthly squeegee meeting.

Exactly what the tailor said when Screaming Lord Sutch showed him sketches of this outfit.