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He should be playing though, surely.

On 5 Live. Not sure where she was from. Not the WHO, but another official body.

Yup. We are talking about who we are offloading for next season, before we have even gone up this season.

Yup. Hopefully I will be dizzy for all the right reasons.

It's just like my eyes are on a conveyor belt, so I can be looking straight head and not deviating my vision at all, but my eyes feel like they are moving to the right. So weird. I've been prodded, poked, injected, examined and electrical impulsed and that was even before I arrived at the...

What was said today that it is a lot more deadly than the flu and there is no vaccine. It's way OTT the way it is portrayed, but it shouldn't be dismissed out of hand as something trivial.

Saw a guy in Tesco today (it was crazy in there, but my dad said he wanted some shopping) and he had 36 big bottles of water in his trolley.

It's not a big problem. Nothing that death wouldn't cure. Just an unexplainable dizziness and shifty eyes (but maybe I always had them). Couldn't drive or even go out for some time.

I thought they had a very good chance with that one on one, where their player tried to head it over Marosi, but put it straight into his hands. Actually, when I saw that on TV, my first thought was that Burge would have kept coming and it probably would have been a goal. Thought Marosi...

My mum for a long time, but then I have been ill myself. Aiming for this week.

Nope, not been yet, Daz. Fingers crossed for next week.

That's so sad. I am not so bothered about the percussive instrument so much, but did the poor monkey survive?

"Substitute Giles for him Why did we put McCallum in? Substitute Giles for my mum He's the one I want to bum.'

What's the Giles song? Is it Substitute by the Who?

Most valuable asset has to be Giles hasn't it? Offer him a big fat contract and build the team around him.

Yup. Threads like this worry me. Let's get promoted first.

Next time try the men's toilets instead for a change?

Ahh, Luke Smartphone-Keypafs, the original concept name for young Skywalker's character before it was sadly ditched.

Is that a wise thing to do for a headteacher?

They'd just do it in your handbag, Nick.