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leaf blowers

Bournemouth were able spend the best part of £40M on a midfielder (Lerma) and left-back (Rico) this summer - i.e.quite prepared/able to spend. Not much point in that case selling a proven Wilson for £40M as they would then be looking for a replacement with £40M to spend.

are you a steward?

i literally don't have any tits left

people that say "I hope you're proud of yourself!" no you don't.

don't mention de vore

yeh, 2 hours

Perhaps she's waiting to be kissed by a handsome prince?

I was expecting them to be 100% Linda McCartney

I now only drink ants milk. it takes 0 litres of water to produce 1 litre of ants milk (but it does take fuck-loads of ants)

reminds me of something I heard on TalkShite the other day when they were talking about TV game show hosted by Bradley Walsh (can't remember name of show - don't watch it). One of the questions was something like... What was the name of the footballer who played for Trinidad & Tobago and also...

what did he say to his wife when waving goodbye?

so he's not so bad after all

don't the sandwiches get all squashed up?

were you in Japan?

i think that's why old men allow themselves to become smelly

think I might have already had this (or similar)..but.. people that use stupid sayings in front of just about all of the things that they say. There is someone at work who, whilst on the phone, starts just about all of their sentences with either "yeh/no", or 'I mean..", or "As I say". When...

i'm looking forward to the open-top bus parade of the trophy

120 years is a long time to be sitting down

always goes down well in the gym