Sky Blue Sam jokes (1 Viewer)

cov4theprem

Well-Known Member
To celebrate his 21st Birthday here are a few jokes for starters. Please feel free to add to them:

What do you call Sky Blue Sam with a Machine Gun?
Sir!

Why did Sky Blue Sam stand on the marshmellow?
So he didn't fall in the hot chocolate

Why are Sky Blue Sams feet shaped that way?
To fit on Lily pads....
 

ccfcway

Well-Known Member
I saw Sky Blue Sam on the motorway a few weeks ago.

"Sam, what are you doing on the motorway" I asked.

"about 5 miles an hour" he said
 
Sky Blue Sam came past me on the M6 on a cart being pulled by a huge 6 foot chicken. He was going at a hell of a speed.

Further up the motorway he was on the hard shoulder sat on the cart crying his eyes out and the chicken was nowhere to be seen.

I pulled up and went over and said " What on earths happened"

Amongst the sobbing I heard him say "Me big 'ens gone" :rolleyes:

I'll get me coat :whistle:
 

cov4theprem

Well-Known Member
How many sky blue sams does it take to change a light bulb?
None - sky blue Sam can't change a light bulb.
 

skyblue1991

Well-Known Member
A catching contest was organised between Sky Blue Sam and Ryan Allsop. 100 corners were taken separately with each one aimed directly to each contestant in which they have to catch as many footballs as possible.

To the nearest 10 how many more footballs did Sky Blue Sam catch?
 

McLovin87

Well-Known Member
Sky Blue Sam is running in the annual mascots race and tells Oggy to put a few hundred quid on him as he has been training all year for it and is guaranteed to coast it. Oggy questions it but he reassures him that he is a dead cert and he is in great condition.

The day of the race and Oggy walks up to Sam while he is doing his warm up and says, "Are you still confident, as most of the first team including Pressley has put a good few quid on you to win?" Sam says no problems and he has it in the bag.

The race starts and Sam gets off to a flyer and after 6 fences he is way ahead of the field and can afford to ease down a little, as he approaches the second last fence a tin of peaches flies out of the crowd and hits him in the side of the head. This throws him off balance but he still manages to jump the fence, as he is in mid-air a pack of shortbread hits him in the knee and he nearly hits the deck.

He regains his composure but the chasing pack are now breathing down his neck, as he nears the last a fruit cake hurtles towards him and catches on his side. He lurches to the right and just about makes the jump and as he lands he is almost poleaxed by a bottle of red wine which throws him completely off his stride. The chasing pack takes advantage of his misfortune and he eventually finishes in 4th place.

Oggy confronts him at the finishing line and says. "What the hell was that all about, I thought you were going to walk it?" Sky Blue Sam turns to him and says," Sorry mate I was hampered at the last 2 fences!".
 
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Rusty Trombone

Well-Known Member
At the doctors.

Sky Blue Sam : Doctor, I've got a strawberry growing on my bum.

Doctor : I've got some cream for that.
 

jimmyhillsfanclub

Well-Known Member
Whats the difference between Sky Blue Sams toilet & Tim Fisher.....


Ones full of shit & the other is an elephant toilet...








Sorry folks...but someone had to do it sooner or later....
 
I don't know, :thinking about: what's the difference between an elephants arse and a post box ?
 

Sky Blue Dal

Well-Known Member
A zoo keeper gets raped by Sky Blue Sam and he is rushed to hospital for treatment.

The doctor examines him and asks why his arse has been stretched out 10 inches when Sky Blue Sam’s erect penis is only 4ins wide.

Weeping, the man said “The dirty bastard fingered me first”
 
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