GaryJones
Well-Known Member
Want to pass on this piece of Bullshit Gone Wrong and interested to hear of any similar tales told that back-fired!
When I was about 12 years old (I'm now 51) we moved from Holbrooks to Earlsdon which meant I had to change schools and basically lost touch with any mates I had. I was a mad City Fan and had just been bought my first season ticket (had one every year until this season and have only watched them on TV or away from home since Shitfields became our home).
Anyway - I was playing football on my own in Butts Park when I was approached by a group of lads around my age asking me if I wanted a game.
Sure thing and suddenly football united me with some new mates - I was having a blinder running from the back like Graham Oakey then dancing past the opposition like "Hutch" on speed! - Second half I transformed into Jimmy Rimmer in goal leaping around like frog on a red hot stove!
Needless to say at the end of all this I went from Billy No Mates to everybody's new best friend and I was feeling pretty proud of myself.
At this point and for reasons I cant explain I made a fatal error of judgement on the BullShit front.
New Mate number 1 - So Gaz where have you moved here from?
Me - Norwich!
New Mate number 1 - Wow what school you going too and why did you move to Coventry
Me - Finham Park - Oh and my Dad plays for Coventry City! (In actual fact my Dad worked for Massey Ferguson) - This just came out but I was now on the slippery slope!
New Mates 1-2-3-4-5 Can you get us tickets?
Me - (Here we go) Yes no problem if my Dad cant get some I will ask my Uncle
New Mates 1-2-3-4-5 Wow Whos your Uncle
Me (This is where I bring in a JCB to dig an even deeper hole) Gordon Milne!
Now at this point I realised even at the tender age of 11 or 12 that I had gone too far and was panicking about how the hell I would get out of this hole I had dug myself.
I eventually made a quick exit from Butts Park with the excuse that I needed to get home for Sunday dinner and bombed it up the entry toward my street eventually getting home through the back door.
An hour later there was a knock on the front door and my Dad came in saying that a group of kids were asking for David Crosses Autograph!!!! What the f**ks going on?
At this point I had to fess up to my Dad and begged him (My real Dad) to say that my Dad was out....
My Dad - Sod that you little bugger! (and he dragged my to the front door and watched while I had to confess to all my new found mates that Id made it all up)
Things eventually died down (after about a month) and I was allowed back into the group however I had to live with the nickname Crossy Milne or Crossy or Milney for the next 4 years.
Id forgotten all about this until 2 days ago when I was in Tescos in Warwick and I heard a shout go up behind me "Bloody hell its Crossy Milne!"
It was one of my old mates I hadn't see for 20 years - we had a laugh about this and I thought Id share my shame on here with the hope of some redemption and forgiveness from my Sky Blue brethren.
What do you think? - Am I damned for all time or what?
When I was about 12 years old (I'm now 51) we moved from Holbrooks to Earlsdon which meant I had to change schools and basically lost touch with any mates I had. I was a mad City Fan and had just been bought my first season ticket (had one every year until this season and have only watched them on TV or away from home since Shitfields became our home).
Anyway - I was playing football on my own in Butts Park when I was approached by a group of lads around my age asking me if I wanted a game.
Sure thing and suddenly football united me with some new mates - I was having a blinder running from the back like Graham Oakey then dancing past the opposition like "Hutch" on speed! - Second half I transformed into Jimmy Rimmer in goal leaping around like frog on a red hot stove!
Needless to say at the end of all this I went from Billy No Mates to everybody's new best friend and I was feeling pretty proud of myself.
At this point and for reasons I cant explain I made a fatal error of judgement on the BullShit front.
New Mate number 1 - So Gaz where have you moved here from?
Me - Norwich!
New Mate number 1 - Wow what school you going too and why did you move to Coventry
Me - Finham Park - Oh and my Dad plays for Coventry City! (In actual fact my Dad worked for Massey Ferguson) - This just came out but I was now on the slippery slope!
New Mates 1-2-3-4-5 Can you get us tickets?
Me - (Here we go) Yes no problem if my Dad cant get some I will ask my Uncle
New Mates 1-2-3-4-5 Wow Whos your Uncle
Me (This is where I bring in a JCB to dig an even deeper hole) Gordon Milne!
Now at this point I realised even at the tender age of 11 or 12 that I had gone too far and was panicking about how the hell I would get out of this hole I had dug myself.
I eventually made a quick exit from Butts Park with the excuse that I needed to get home for Sunday dinner and bombed it up the entry toward my street eventually getting home through the back door.
An hour later there was a knock on the front door and my Dad came in saying that a group of kids were asking for David Crosses Autograph!!!! What the f**ks going on?
At this point I had to fess up to my Dad and begged him (My real Dad) to say that my Dad was out....
My Dad - Sod that you little bugger! (and he dragged my to the front door and watched while I had to confess to all my new found mates that Id made it all up)
Things eventually died down (after about a month) and I was allowed back into the group however I had to live with the nickname Crossy Milne or Crossy or Milney for the next 4 years.
Id forgotten all about this until 2 days ago when I was in Tescos in Warwick and I heard a shout go up behind me "Bloody hell its Crossy Milne!"
It was one of my old mates I hadn't see for 20 years - we had a laugh about this and I thought Id share my shame on here with the hope of some redemption and forgiveness from my Sky Blue brethren.
What do you think? - Am I damned for all time or what?
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