Having taken the p___ out of the USA's favourite sport I thought it was only fair to disclose a conversation I heard recently between an English cricket fan Roger and his American friend Chuck.
Roger "well Chuck how are you getting on with our beautiful summer game, cricket - the only sport we are really, really good at"
Chuck: "er, still trying to understand that your game can last for up to five whole days and if it is a TEST match could entail a further four games - by the way what are they testing - talk about our NFL being long"
Roger: "well this is a very skilful game you see and we like to show off all the various types of batting and bowling skills - so we don't rush them"
Chuck: "affirmative that but I have been told that even if one side score more RUNS than the other this could result in the game being DRAWN even after five days - why not have a WICKET shootout to decide the winner"
Roger: "tactics play a big part in cricket and it is still honourable to finish the game as a draw and not lose face"
Chuck: "you're losing me here Roger - anyway here are a few more questions"
is a GOOGLY a new cricket website
where does the NIGHTWATCHMAN sleep after STUMPS are drawn
does involving a CHINAMAN in the team satisfy your diversity targets
are the SILLY MID ON and the SILLY MID OFF part time comedians
is the THIRD MAN related to Orson Wells (ancient actor)
why are all umpires called OWZAT
why are you OUT on the pitch when you are IN and IN the dressing room when you are OUT
who is that umpire guy with the crooked finger who keeps upsetting the players
Roger: "lots of questions there - I need more time to answer so I'll SLIP in a date when you have a few days spare"
Chuck: "don't bother - I'd rather watch paint dry than this crap"