Really does encapsulate it .This video still breaks my heart everytime I see it
We also need to normalise seeing a therapist. Still such a stigma about it but, if you go to the gym or have a trainer work on every other muscle in your body, why not your brain and mental health?
I saw one a year or two and was incredible. Bit stressed recently so going to get started again.
We also need to normalise seeing a therapist. Still such a stigma about it but, if you go to the gym or have a trainer work on every other muscle in your body, why not your brain and mental health?
I saw one a year or two and was incredible. Bit stressed recently so going to get started again.
There’s a ton of evidence that supports that talking therapies help. Also a ton of evidence that supports that the most important aspect of any therapy is the relationship between therapist and person going to see them.I would also say male mental health is very different from female in my opinion and a lot of talking therapy is set up for women. Finding someone who ideally is a bloke but at least understands how to talk to them is huge IMO. Shop around people. Don’t assume the first second or even third experience is what they’re all like.
This is what I used when looking:
British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy
BACP is the professional association for members of the counselling professions in the UK. We exist for one simple reason - counselling changes liveswww.bacp.co.uk
That really hit me that’s a lovely thing to do
May he find light happiness and peace
There’s a ton of evidence that supports that talking therapies help. Also a ton of evidence that supports that the most important aspect of any therapy is the relationship between therapist and person going to see them.
I personally found CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy - not cock and ball torture for those with dodgy search histories) to work really well for my “I want a solution not a chat” mindset that I think a lot of blokes have. I also just found the standard issue floaty middle aged mumsy woman in a dress wearing beads just did not vibe with me at all. I needed someone I respected who I felt understood what I was going through.
This forum never ceases to amaze me.
In a serious chat about mental health I've discovered there's an alternative meaning to CBT related to painful sounding masochistic sexual practices.
I didn’t understand what I was supposed to get out of mine. I think I genuinely do just need to take responsibility for who I am and what I say and do and a little bit of man up is involved. We all have a life to lead don’t we?I personally found CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy - not cock and ball torture for those with dodgy search histories) to work really well for my “I want a solution not a chat” mindset that I think a lot of blokes have. I also just found the standard issue floaty middle aged mumsy woman in a dress wearing beads just did not vibe with me at all. I needed someone I respected who I felt understood what I was going through.
I didn’t understand what I was supposed to get out of mine. I think I genuinely do just need to take responsibility for who I am and what I say and do and a little bit of man up is involved. We all have a life to lead don’t we?
really pleased you found something useful
Thanks for sharing I think my main issue is anxiety and I have learnt some similar stuff to you but I don’t think I’ve got it as sortedSo just because this might help someone here’s some of the stuff I’ve tried and how I felt. Really I see it as a set of skills and everyone’s different so I really think just try stuff.
My issue was mainly anxiety. We did some root cause stuff that TBH I still question its utility but it was interesting and got me to think about drivers but also accept as an adult I keep those around intentionally. As part of a group I did some guided meditation around meeting my younger self, this was the part I was say making sarcastic comments in my head and unsurprisingly I felt I didn’t get much out of it.
What really worked was for want of a better word mindfulness and noticing patterns in my behaviour that signalled a negative spiral was coming and being rational about the thoughts my mind was throwing up (basically pulling holes in the statements a depressed mind makes, which I enjoy as people on here will know). Spending some time being aware of triggers and patterns meant that I reached the third person detached view earlier and didn’t spiral. What was a two month depressive episode became one month then two weeks then two days and now is rarely more than a few minutes at best. That shit literally saved my life IMO and I still use it today and taught it to my autistic daughter who was also prone to a mental spiral.
After finally reaching the front of a seemingly never ending waiting list for NHS therapy I was assigned a therapist. It was exactly this, worse than useless. His response to everything was 'what's the worst that can happen' as well as a weird obsession with online dating.I know if I’d given up after my first couple of NHS therapists I’d have gone away believing therapy was worse than useless. Finding a private therapist who I could trust made all the difference.
Covid times was a bit of an eye opener for me. Everyone started taking about how shit their mental health was which made me realise what they were describing as a big decline caused by lockdown was how I feel all the time.
Did a few online tests which all came back with severe stress (no surprise there), severe anxiety (probably severe was a bit surprising but undiagnosed anxiety very clearly runs through my Mums side of the family) and severe depression (which was a bit of a surprise to say the least).
Mentioned it to the doctor who gave me some pills which made me feel like absolute shit and suggested a referral to mental health services.
Few weeks later I had a phone assessment which was done by Mind on behalf of the NHS. Was supposed to be 20 minutes and ended up being over an hour, by the end of it the guy was trying to give me numbers to call in an emergency as he thought I was about to do something. Had to keep saying it was fine, this has been the same as long as I can remember.
After finally reaching the front of a seemingly never ending waiting list for NHS therapy I was assigned a therapist. It was exactly this, worse than useless. His response to everything was 'what's the worst that can happen' as well as a weird obsession with online dating.
When I changed jobs and could no longer have appointments in office hours that was the end of it, no option for appointments at any other time.
The chap from Mind did suggest private therapists but gave me some qualifications to look for which he felt were needed for my situation, when I looked them up the ones who matched the criteria were £150 plus a session. When I'm not paying out over £1K a month for my Dads care home fees might be in more of a position to give that a go.
ChatGPT has proven to be pretty valuable to me when I'm spiralling. It's good at reminding me of immediate grounding techniques and has occasionally provided some great moments of insight, of course it also spews a whole load of garbage at me too!I was very lucky that I could afford it and that my guy wasn’t that expensive (this was 10-15 years ago tho).
One possibly naive hope I have for ChatGPT and the like is it might actually be useful at getting these kinds of therapies out. If it was used properly of course as out the box it’s got some pretty negative effects.
ChatGPT has proven to be pretty valuable to me when I'm spiralling. It's good at reminding me of immediate grounding techniques and has occasionally provided some great moments of insight, of course it also spews a whole load of garbage at me too!
Thanks for sharing....and this feels like an issue - unless you are prepared to pay, the support is just insufficient. And in this day and age...people just cannot afford it.Covid times was a bit of an eye opener for me. Everyone started taking about how shit their mental health was which made me realise what they were describing as a big decline caused by lockdown was how I feel all the time.
Did a few online tests which all came back with severe stress (no surprise there), severe anxiety (probably severe was a bit surprising but undiagnosed anxiety very clearly runs through my Mums side of the family) and severe depression (which was a bit of a surprise to say the least).
Mentioned it to the doctor who gave me some pills which made me feel like absolute shit and suggested a referral to mental health services.
Few weeks later I had a phone assessment which was done by Mind on behalf of the NHS. Was supposed to be 20 minutes and ended up being over an hour, by the end of it the guy was trying to give me numbers to call in an emergency as he thought I was about to do something. Had to keep saying it was fine, this has been the same as long as I can remember.
After finally reaching the front of a seemingly never ending waiting list for NHS therapy I was assigned a therapist. It was exactly this, worse than useless. His response to everything was 'what's the worst that can happen' as well as a weird obsession with online dating.
When I changed jobs and could no longer have appointments in office hours that was the end of it, no option for appointments at any other time.
The chap from Mind did suggest private therapists but gave me some qualifications to look for which he felt were needed for my situation, when I looked them up the ones who matched the criteria were £150 plus a session. When I'm not paying out over £1K a month for my Dads care home fees might be in more of a position to give that a go.
Thanks for sharing....and this feels like an issue - unless you are prepared to pay, the support is just insufficient. And in this day and age...people just cannot afford it.
You’ve had a really shit time of it for years now based on what you’ve been saying regards your dad, work situation and more. Everyone’s here for you and that extends to anything offline you need as well.Covid times was a bit of an eye opener for me. Everyone started taking about how shit their mental health was which made me realise what they were describing as a big decline caused by lockdown was how I feel all the time.
Did a few online tests which all came back with severe stress (no surprise there), severe anxiety (probably severe was a bit surprising but undiagnosed anxiety very clearly runs through my Mums side of the family) and severe depression (which was a bit of a surprise to say the least).
Mentioned it to the doctor who gave me some pills which made me feel like absolute shit and suggested a referral to mental health services.
Few weeks later I had a phone assessment which was done by Mind on behalf of the NHS. Was supposed to be 20 minutes and ended up being over an hour, by the end of it the guy was trying to give me numbers to call in an emergency as he thought I was about to do something. Had to keep saying it was fine, this has been the same as long as I can remember.
After finally reaching the front of a seemingly never ending waiting list for NHS therapy I was assigned a therapist. It was exactly this, worse than useless. His response to everything was 'what's the worst that can happen' as well as a weird obsession with online dating.
When I changed jobs and could no longer have appointments in office hours that was the end of it, no option for appointments at any other time.
The chap from Mind did suggest private therapists but gave me some qualifications to look for which he felt were needed for my situation, when I looked them up the ones who matched the criteria were £150 plus a session. When I'm not paying out over £1K a month for my Dads care home fees might be in more of a position to give that a go.
For £60/hour I am willing to give you that permission in writingDo therapists give you license to give anyone who says ‘what do YOU have to be depressed/sad etc. about?’ a smack these days?
I’m from coventry but live in the US. But yeah agree…quality of therapist is massive. You can quickly get the vibe who is trying tot make the numbers up or who isn’t a good match, versus who isYou’re American aren’t you? I think private therapists are a different beast to what most people experience through IAPT on the NHS. I know if I’d given up after my first couple of NHS therapists I’d have gone away believing therapy was worse than useless. Finding a private therapist who I could trust made all the difference. Agree with you, he gave me tools to handle things and my MH has never been back (touch wood) to the levels it was. Of course divorce helped there, but even that he was hinting at in hindsight.
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