On the twelfth day of Christmas, Peter Ndlovu sent to me
Twelve games unbeaten,
David Pipers piping,
Kilcline a-hacking,
Ben Sheaf out injured,
Small Jamie Allens,
Swansea getting beaten,
But not fucking Preston,
FAT FUCKING RON,
Peter Billing's turd,
Three benched Bens,
Two Haji Wrights,
Richie Partridge in a pear tree!
(with thanks to Tomreagan84 for the benched Bens)