Bad joke corner (1 Viewer)

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 10, 2010

• #281

I often see former contestants from Big Brother, and I always ask them the same question....

What aisle has the frozen pizzas?

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 10, 2010

• #282

I have tickets for The Comedy Club in a few weeks but can't make it. Does anyone want them? They're for the kop end.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 11, 2010

• #283

What do you get if you cross a ball and Emile Heskey?

A goal kick.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 12, 2010

• #284

News : '74 Year Old Man Clubbed To Death'.


Wow, what a party animal!

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 12, 2010

• #285

I was hit in the head with a Werthers.

I thought, thats original.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 12, 2010

• #286

After dinner, the pope and his cardinals passed around the under eights.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 13, 2010

• #287

What's worse than being captured by the Taliban?

Being rescued by the Americans.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 13, 2010

• #288

When the Chilian Miners are rescued, their first task is to visit Roy Hodgson at Anfield to advise him how to get out a fucking big hole before Christmas.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 13, 2010

• #289

British rescue operation.

Use stealth tactics to get into the enemy building. Use silenced weapons and gas to disable combatants and avoid detection. Rescue victim quickly and without taking any casualties.

American rescue operation.

Roll up in Hummers, because they are cool. Throw grenades at building until everyone inside is dead, because explosions are fucking cool. Drag corpse of person you just rescued out of the rubble and stick American flag in them. High five anyone in your platoon still alive.

 

Last edited: Oct 13, 2010

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 13, 2010

• #290

As Wales next fixture in euro 2012 is against England they are hoping to convince a former international footballer to come out of retirement to help them get a result in Cardiff.

The Welsh F.A can confirm that talks with Emile Heskey to come back and play for England are at at a advanced stage.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 13, 2010

• #291

All Capello needs to do is log onto facebook after every England game to learn all the trade secrets on how to become the greatest manager the world has ever known.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 16, 2010

• #292

As the plane hurtled towards the ground at six hundred miles an hour everybody around me was screaming, crying and hugging each other - but me? Well I wasn't worried at all.

You see, I was wearing my seat belt.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 16, 2010

• #293

After there were very small crowd numbers at the commonwealth games, thousands of Indian school children have been given free tickets. Unfortunately, none of them have been able to get time off work to go.

 

covladzak

New Member

• Oct 16, 2010

• #294

Coventry La La La said:

After there were very small crowd numbers at the commonwealth games, thousands of Indian school children have been given free tickets. Unfortunately, none of them have been able to get time off work to go.

Click to expand...

LOL..... Are you sure you didn't mix The Commonwealth Games up with Leicester City........

 

Disorganised1

New Member

• Oct 17, 2010

• #295

You know what gets on my nerves ~?

Rhetorical questions.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 17, 2010

• #296

Liverpool YNWA ?? You'll Never Win A (league title again)

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 17, 2010

• #297

can't wait for next season's Merseyside Derby!

Liverpool v Tranmere Rovers.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 17, 2010

• #298

All you Liverpool haters might be laughing now, but you won't be next season when we're lifting a trophy.

...the Championship counts, right?

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 17, 2010

• #299

To show their support, Liverpool have offered the Chilean miners free tickets for the rest of the season...

So far, 28 have asked to go back down the hole.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 18, 2010

• #300

BBC News: Mountain Goat "Killed US Hiker"

At least, that's what the rescue team said...

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 18, 2010

• #301

I'm going into hospital tomorrow to undergo a risky medical procedure. I spoke to my surgeon earlier to explain that I was a little nervous, but he reassured me.

"There's only a 1 in 100 chance of anything going seriously wrong", he said.

"Besides, I've done 99 of these operations before and they've all been fine".

 

skybluedan

Well-Known Member

• Oct 18, 2010

• #302

lol like that one

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 19, 2010

• #303

Wayne Rooney may not sign a new contract.

DreamWorks are yet to release a statement.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 19, 2010

• #304

Champions League football for the Liverpool players tonight.

They are all going round to Steven Gerrard's to watch it on Sky Sports 2.

 

T

Taziano

Facebook User

• Oct 20, 2010

• #305

Two police women are out on foot patrol in foleshill with their alsation dog. One says "I'm getting a bit cold and i've left my thermal knickers back at the station" The other one says "use the dog, give him a sniff of your fanny and he'll fetch them for you". So she lets the dog have a sniff and he runs off back to the station. Two hours later he returns with a truncheon,a plastic baton, a baseball bat and 3 of the duty sergeants fingers.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 20, 2010

• #306

It's cold today. It turns out the coalition have turned down the sun by 25%.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 20, 2010

• #307

Medal of Honour has been described as the most controversial game ever because there's a level where you have to shoot Americans in Afghanistan.

So, you play as an American then?

 

BenInTurin

Facebook User

• Oct 20, 2010

• #308

i like that one!

 

S

smileycov

Facebook User

• Oct 21, 2010

• #309

I said to my mate i'm going into hospital to be circumcised tomorow. he said i had it done when i was 4 months old.
did it hurt?

He said i couldn't walk for 12 months!!

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 21, 2010

• #310

Liverpool have made a bid for Rooney after he said he wanted to play in a different league next season.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 21, 2010

• #311

'With great power, comes a great electricity bill.'

 

T

Taziano

Facebook User

• Oct 22, 2010

• #312

uys someone hit me in the back of the head with a toilet roll this morning. Don't worry, after a trip to A&E....

It's just "soft tissue damage"

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 24, 2010

• #313

A woman stopped me in the street and asked why I was wearing sunglasses.

"I'm blind," I replied.

"Oh, I see," she said.

"Fuck off, don't rub it in."

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Oct 24, 2010

• #314

The genius of Wayne Rooney:

1. Wayne Rooney wants to leave Manchester United because Manchester United are not signing enough top quality players.

2. Manchester United sign Wayne Rooney to a long-term big-money contract.

3. Wayne Rooney thinks Wayne Rooney is a top quality player.

4. Wayne Rooney is happy.

 

redsox

Facebook User

• Oct 29, 2010

• #315

Girls are like phones.....They love to be held, and talked 2.......BUT if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!!!!!!!!