Bad joke corner (1 Viewer)

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Nov 18, 2010

• #386

Failed my Politics exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world".

Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer.

 

BenInTurin

Facebook User

• Nov 18, 2010

• #387

lol that one's great lalala

 

S

smileycov

Facebook User

• Nov 18, 2010

• #388

What did stephen hawkins say when his computer broke?

Nothing!!!!

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Nov 19, 2010

• #389

Suspected bomb bound for Germany is found.

Grandad... it's over!

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Nov 19, 2010

• #390

#THIS IS A STADIUM ANNOUCEMENT: Will the England football team please report to the pitch. You were due to start playing at 8PM. Thank you. #

 

cheesehog

New Member

• Nov 20, 2010

• #391

I bought two gallons of tippex today...... That was a big mistake!

 

skybluedan

Well-Known Member

• Nov 20, 2010

• #392

a man says to his wife,right you me and the dog are going fishing.....
the wife replies i dont fuckin wanna go fishing,right he says you have 3 choices
you can come fishing
or give me a blow job
or you can take one up the shitter
the wife picks the blow job after a while she says im not being funny love but your dick tastes like shit.......
he says i know the dog didnt want to go fishing either........................

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Nov 21, 2010

• #393

Came home to find all my doors had been smashed in and everything was gone.

What sort of sick fuck does that to someone's advent calendar?

 

redsox

Facebook User

• Nov 21, 2010

• #394

cheesehog said:

I bought two gallons of tippex today...... That was a big mistake!

Click to expand...

thanks cheesey this made me smile!!

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Nov 21, 2010

• #395

justin beiber tryed to kill the metal
but he
failed as
he was turned in to a girl ​

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Nov 22, 2010

• #396

I'm on a mission to wipe out all stores from a German multi-national supermarket chain. It will take a long time but I'll do it -
Lidl by Lidl.​

 

cheesehog

New Member

• Nov 23, 2010

• #397

redsox said:

thanks cheesey this made me smile!!

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

Click to expand...

You're welcome Red...

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Nov 23, 2010

• #398

I remember how stupid I felt the day I found out Santa Claus doesn't exist. I realised how ridiculous the whole concept was and was clearly just a method of blackmailing children to behave themselves all year round.

Anyway, I'm off to church now. I don't want to piss God off or I will go to hell.

 

dilligaf

New Member

• Nov 24, 2010

• #399

My daughter was asked to do a farmyard impression at school today,apparently
"Get the fuck off my land before i shoot you, you pikey bastard."
wasn't quite what the teacher was expecting.

 

dilligaf

New Member

• Nov 24, 2010

• #400

My son just came in and said
"i have lost my virginity to the neighbours daughter last night"
i said "fair enough son i hope you wore something"
he said "don't worry i wore my balaclava"



seen on page 17 after posting "DOH"

 

Last edited: Nov 24, 2010

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Nov 26, 2010

• #401

Waking the Dead. One letter away from being the most controversial show on TV.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Nov 26, 2010

• #402

BBC News: Indian Elephants cracked tusk repaired with special resin

Wow. Gavin from Autoglass gets around........

 

dutchman

Well-Known Member

• Nov 27, 2010

• #403

Who put the "T" in Typhoo?

The same person who put the "c**t" in Scunthorpe

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Nov 28, 2010

• #404

I started a website on Audley Harrison a week ago.
No hits so far...

 

cheesehog

New Member

• Nov 29, 2010

• #405

what has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you'd taken it out a few seconds earlier.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Nov 29, 2010

• #406

Here's a picture of me with the band REM.

That's me in the corner.

 

redsox

Facebook User

• Nov 29, 2010

• #407

Coventry La La La said:

I started a website on Audley Harrison a week ago.
No hits so far...

Click to expand...

He's gonna come looking for ya.........and he's gonna give ya......errrr.....a great big hug!!

:laugh::laugh:

 

skybluedan

Well-Known Member

• Nov 30, 2010

• #408

i said to the mrs lets play chilean minors....
she said you want me to go down on your shaft till i reach the bottom........
i said no you can fuck off out my sight for 4 months

 

skybluedan

Well-Known Member

• Nov 30, 2010

• #409

shagged a girl with a stutter last night..
i was lucky
just managed to finish before she said no.......

 

skybluedan

Well-Known Member

• Nov 30, 2010

• #410

quality la la la

 

Last edited: Nov 30, 2010

skybluedan

Well-Known Member

• Nov 30, 2010

• #411

my uncle was a rubbish ventriloquist........
he used to put his fingers up me arse and ask me not to say anything...............

 

skybluedan

Well-Known Member

• Nov 30, 2010

• #412

more bad news fo jordan last night ....
peter andre rang to talk about the kids
and harvey answered the iron.......................

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Nov 30, 2010

• #413

ITV Weather: If conditions stay the same it is possible we could have a white Christmas.


Possible? I'd say it was definite if they stay the same as it's currently fucking snowing.

 

Disorganised1

New Member

• Dec 2, 2010

• #414

If you get an e-mail today with an attachment saying "Look at my tinned meat." Don't open it ! - It's SPAM.

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Dec 2, 2010

• #415

Snow...

Russia = Live with it
Canada = Just another day
Norway = Same old shit
Britain = APOCALYPSE

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Dec 7, 2010

• #416

FIFA committee - Love money

Russia - Massive oil reserves

Qatar - Massive gas reserves

England - Nectar points

D'oh!

 

Coventry La La La

New Member

• Dec 8, 2010

• #417

What's the difference between One Direction and Futurama?

There's only one Bender in Futurama.

 

redsox

Facebook User

• Dec 24, 2010

• #418

Life was hard when I was a kid. We lived on a rough estate. The other kids used to pick on me and cover me whipped cream and put a cherry on my head......It was hard growing up in the gateaux.


:laugh::laugh:

 

S

smileycov

Facebook User

• Dec 24, 2010

• #419

just had 2 blokes in suits on my doorstep for an hour, talking about the benefits of brown bread...............fucking Hovis Witnesses!!

 

redsox

Facebook User

• Dec 24, 2010

• #420

smileycov said:

just had 2 blokes in suits on my doorstep for an hour, talking about the benefits of brown bread...............fucking Hovis Witnesses!!

Click to expand...

you made I laugh smiley, nice one!!

:laugh::laugh::laugh: