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Ahh, it's amazing what you can conjure up on Microsoft Publisher!!

Dear Joy, Accepting this offer will result in my no longer be able to sit in the Premier seats at the Odeon cinema and my having to think twice about 'going large' at McDonald's and Burger King. I will have to buy silver slippers rather than gold plated ones and may have to choose belly pork...

That's a bit cruel on Thorn.

How do we know the Twitter everyone is accessing on here which contains the Oliver Norwood, who may or may not be the real Oliver Norwood, who talks about the Alex Nimley who isn't the real Alex Nimely, is the real Twitter?

What if the Oliver Norwood on Twitter isn't the real Oliver Norwood?

Potters Green Under 11's Girls 2nd Team?

With the squad we've got we can only play 5 a sides!

Syers - BANG Collins - BANG Herd - BANG Norwood - BANG Fleck - Yet to be BANGED

My daughter's supposed to be performing on Sunday. Can't see that being re-scheduled to be honest.

I haven't renewed yet.

You were going to shine a torch inbetween your ears?

Double bugger!!!! Echo and the Bunnymen tonight. As least, it was supposed to be!!

No. :facepalm:

Will it be a one and a half man tent?

if Bell says he doesn't like Maltesers I will be straight on the Valletta daily newspaper.

Enough about the team. What do you think of my football rumour?

They have a Plan B. Unfortunately it is just 'The Defamation of Strickland Banks' album on download.

It was a joke. Maybe I should get suspended too. Was just trying to make a point. Too much second guessing on here.