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Just find out if they call a batch 'a cob' 'a roll' or 'a bap' and then when you ring up Crewe FC ask them at the ticket office where you can buy the best *baps, cobs, rolls. *delete as appropriate.

Mine's got real pubic hair. You sure you want to see it? :o I'll have to empty her first.

Thought 'a child' was under 16 not 17? Okay, just looked it up and it says 18. Bit surprising that cos you can get married at 16. Does that mean you can marry a child?:(

Which was kind of what I was getting at. Read the headline and it will sound 100 times worse that it actually was.

How's your ribs?

Best go for 150 to not raise any alarm bells I would have thought.

Have I ever? 'AT' work!

A big fat bonus in his pay packet?

What's Andy Thorn got to do with it? And why are you working for him?

Not a contradiction for me, because I don't believe he kicked him deliberately. Seems to me that he tried to kick the ball. Therefore the incident out of proportion. If I felt he deliberately kicked the ball boy then it wouldn't be blown out out of proportion. I see no contradiction there at...

Well, that was what made me chuckle and hence referred to. Otherwise, if you hadn't have said it I wouldn't have responded. Would you rather I was more vague and didn't let you know what I found funny then? ;)

I don't know what the headline should be, but 'Pro footballer kicks child' should it be not!

But there must be 300-400 houses in the ST1 postcode area.

Come on though, 'footballer kicks child' makes it sound like someone has really swung a leg at full throttle at a toddler in a pushchair. What's wrong with incident of footballer who kicks ball boy? Seem like the child isn't a child at all anyway. Except when he's been kicked in the ribs and...

Thinking about it though the Daily Mail probably have 'Pro footballer kicks child to death' and will have that on standby in the hope that the kid doesn't pull through.

There's pictures on Twitter of him with bottles of beer. So, probably 12. He can't be 17 though can he! Not possible. It would destroy the headline of 'Pro footballer kicks child!'

It's going to be blown out of all proportion. Yep, the player kicked the ballboy. Does seem though like he was trying to kick the ball from underneath him in my book. Still ref had no choice. The ball boy does his Hollywood master class (or Swansea College) of play acting though and totally...

Just wondering if you write for the Daily Mail? ;) Tomorrow's headline. 'Pro footballer kicks child.' Doctor's are hopeful he might make a full recovery, but he could be a wheelchair for weeks.

Did make me chuckle that. 'A pro footballer kicked a child!' David Cameron would be proud of such spin! ;)

To me it looks like he tries to kick the ball out from underneath the ball boy but misses. As I said earlier, mountain out of a molehill. Shake hands, give the ball boy a gift voucher and soon as his electronic tag is removed he can go and shop at Argos and buy a duffle bag.