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Better than... Ronaldo? He's 44 Too obese 🍔 In the days of Messi & Ronaldo... we think football is perfected, but Brazil Ronaldo 95-97 was fucking lethal!

We're missing a goalie in our rumour XI. So lets go for Antti "He's not 'Finnished'... He's 28!" Niemi. I think he was at the Subaru/Isuzu sponsorship launch before Rangers sneaked in... So we got Hedman.

That's how we are going to tempt Mbappe to join us over the summer... On your days off Kylian, can you travel up to the arse end of Scotland to scout the u/16s Highland League.

Ha... I think that is Benali's daughter.

Could you not think of a word to rhyme with obligation?

Being picky, their sponsorship logo looks a bit knock off... But then we have two options, put Granada Bingo on from one season or no sponsor from the other one... I know which one would sit best with me.

Apparently it's a done deal... The only sticking point is whether it's an option or obligation to buy after.

Oh yeah! Like we're gonna sign Memphis. Let's be realistic and aim for Mbappe.

From memory... 1989 (Ashes tests) was the last summer where England did not win a test. Could easily happen this summer... At least with have the hundred to 'entertain' us!

I'm keeping my eye on the stewards around the grounds... The Baku ones look decent.

The 'we're signing a 16 year old from Herne Bay' rumour was going around like wildfire in the parishes to be fair...

Technically a 1 year loan with an obligation to sign for 7 years.

What's the point signing players now when they cannot do the obligatory picture of them holding the new season's jersey out in front of them, whilst wearing the new season's jersey?

Disgusting... I think someone should dig up the graves of the committee members so they can conduct a disciplinary on you!!!

Ben's becoming like a Council Tax demand to some on here... If we ignore him... Everything will be okay... Until that inevitable bailiff visit!

Not signing Mbappe, when he was 7, to a 25-year contract. This was pre SISU though...

Chris Maguire released... Or should I say. HE USED TO PLAY FOR US FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES & HE SCORED 2 FREE KICKS!!! Spunk the budget Mark!

Two banks of four. Big 'un & Quick 'un up top. Keep it tight & get amongst them early doors. Double up in threatening areas. Remember who your man is at set pieces. Seriously though... There's zero point stressing (or constantly threading to the point of ad nauseam) about stuff we can't...

Definitely younger than 50... 40 at a push... The first yard may be in their head but they may need a mobility scooter for yards 2 to 100.

Sutton just promoted to L2... Be funny if he returns and calls it his 'real home'... Should get the bed wetters in a tiz!