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“OK Ben, day 1 of pre-season, you know what the fans want, so no need to stress, don’t overthink it, just remember all the tips we talked about and give a nice normal smile to the camera and…”

Heard that Doug is after his brother Gino.

Forum’s gone apeshit.

If his main goal was to be the main striker in a top flight team, then I imagine he would have signed a new contract with us with some pretty favourable (to him) release clauses.

Combine it with Leonard Brody's text-a-sub and our fans would probably vote to bring him on.

If you're looking to dazzle prospective new signings and compete with top-end clubs in this division then I'm not sure sharing with the local university is going to cut it - really we need to acquire and build a new facility for ourselves.

Demanding the “right to reveal your name to the general public” as if I’m Batman or something was a nice touch.

Quoted for posterity when you sober up and delete this because this is honestly hilarious

Having already moaned about being likely to lose the bet which he first suggested, it seems that @Earlsdon_Skyblue1 has moved onto making odd statements like my charities being “provocative” (?!) and challenging me to a fight. While I’m proud to join the large ranks of forum members who have...

Deliberately provocative? Refugee and LGBT charities?

This is going to end with me trying to throw a kettle over a pub isn’t it

You think it’s fair to just make up a £3.5m value for a sell-on fee which you’ve said in the previous sentence could well be worth zero?

The “end of the transfer window” wording is indeed important. If he is “sold for more than £20m by end of the transfer window” then I’m happy to pay up. I’m even willing to take into account the value of future fees that have been agreed at the time of the player’s sale, before the end of the...

In this scenario I have changed my name to Miguel Sanchez and fled the country to avoid paying up. But in all seriousness - this kind of scenario is why it’s important to set ground rules for the bet, and it’s silly to leave a bet open for “the next few seasons”. I think using the headline fee...

OK, would rather have put more research into it in terms of picking charities, but if @Earlsdon_Skyblue1 would like to know now, then he can have his choice of two: Dutch Refugee Council, who seek to defend and protect the rights of refugees and asylum seekers in the Netherlands Or...

What confidentiality clause? I don’t really see how the terms are “in my favour” but happy to amend if you have concerns. I haven’t decided on my charity yet but I can assure you it will be a legitimate cause. I haven’t seen any concrete news about bids being accepted so if you still have...

Got a great live feed of paint drying if anyone's interested: Link here

Now, the story of a wealthy corporate box owner who lost everything - and the one son who had no choice but to keep defending him on the internet.

Narrator: We didn't know more today

I would say the board deserves credit for a competitive pricing structure for season tickets that encouraged people back into the ground in strong numbers. The matchday experience outside the ground has also improved - not sure how much of that is down to Boddy and co.