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What about going by barge up the canal

Chelsea

£30 for the badge and all you can eat and drink apparently.

I love how he says ‘there’s trouble here’ every time the opposition attack. It’s almost like he’s willing them to score.

Being one footed isn’t just about passing. Defenders have a dominant foot when tackling. So I fully understand why coaches prefer a right and left foot combination when picking their preferred centre back partnership.

That’s because Stan’s dead

What annoys me is just because he’s a famous he decides he wants to play professional football and the money men make it happen. When next? Elton John starts for Watford on Saturday or Ken Barlow signs for Manchester United if compensation can be agreed with Wearherfield Unathlethetic. And...

The rats have left the sinking ship (boat)

Sounds a lot like Brexit

From what some posters are saying he should have been wearing a Captain Hook costume.

Let’s just say he should have been wearing cargo trousers

Cloud? It bloody pissed it down!

I feel sorry for the hoodoos what have they done to deserve this treatment

I blame Putin

If Chaplin is this great striker why hasn’t he made one run to the near post?

Riddys

I think you’ve been drinking something stronger than tea

He called him and asked him seductively what he was wearing

Did the dream have subtitles?

........... and too pissed to stand up.