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Chopped his tail off with a knife at first, then gave him an almighty whack with a spade.

Not for the squeamish ...... Photo coming .......

People booing because he missed a penalty need their heads examining. He clearly tries and wants to do well.

Mango.

The parrot was just coming up for a year old. Incredibly friendly little thing it was and though we had a cage for it, it always wanted to be out and on your hand or on top of your head.

This, in the packs we bought, is Bromadiolone. We have 4 traps. Obviously the council will bring their own stuff. We're all really upset over it. It was a beautiful parrot. So friendly and it spoke loads. My wife is inconsolable.

Because it grabbed the parrot and the parrot was screaming and screaming and the rat disappeared down the back of the cupboards, down a hole with it.

Yep, that's what we bought today. Think my cousin's stuff could melt a rain forest though.

Thanks. Funnily enough, we had mice previously. My wife without my knowledge put glue traps down. They are so inhumane. I was really annoyed with her and tried to save the mice, using soap to free them from the cardboard we put down and then I put them in a box and released them into the wild...

You're right. As soon as we get those three wins on the bounce we will be just fine and all 5 teams above us will all crumble and fall away too.

Love it. It just so perfectly captures the tone and the mundaneness of an every day office and it cleverly makes you feel awkward while laughing very loudly. The empathy it creates for the characters is a joy to behold too and you are forever rooting for Tim and Dawn to get together.

I wish he could come out. All the stuff is locked away at the council unfortunately. For some very strange reason he is not allowed to take highly poisonous rat poisons home with him.